tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post3918743772446785194..comments2024-03-14T13:08:14.915-04:00Comments on So, the thing is...blog: Goodbye 2010 (and Maybe 8th Grade!) Hello 2011!Barb Matijevichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16469997012394334517noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-65376561780490910952011-01-07T21:06:18.245-05:002011-01-07T21:06:18.245-05:00I've been reading your blog for the last few y...I've been reading your blog for the last few years and am glad to see that have been moving in the right direction. I too live in elwood and have 2 kids the same ages as your girls.<br /><br />Its sounds like you have a very supportive husbnad, which is wonderful.<br /><br />Stick to yoga, I think it will take you where you need to go. I see, through your blogs, that you are becoming more self aware.<br /><br />You count. You are important. As moms we put our needs/wants second or push then aside and think we are silly for having them, because our children always must come first.<br /><br />Keep listening to that inner voice. As I get older, the wiser I get ;). I have been doing things for me....and guess what...the ceiling didn't cave in. Doing for you, doesn't mean you are selfish. Ultimately it will lead to a happier, more fulfilled, better mom and wife.<br /><br />Keep blogging.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-13843030228833760422011-01-04T23:33:40.714-05:002011-01-04T23:33:40.714-05:00I can totally relate to being reluctant to do for ...I can totally relate to being reluctant to do for myself. There is something about us when we have husbands and kids that makes us put ourselves beyond last - like you said, our needs just of the table all together. It has been nice for me to make inroads on this issue and find out that no one in my house felt I was being selfidsh or that I shouldn't do for myself (within limits, granted!)<br /><br />The shame thing is interesting, too. I had more of it when I was younger. It is something that, at least for me, has receded with age - and this from someone who managed to get over 300 pounds...I'll tell you - I don't exactly parade around the gym locker rom naked, but I go in the steam and whirlpool that way because I hate a wet bathing suit. And really, who am I fooling with a bathing suit - they know I am obese and they are going to have an opinion and I don't really care what it is because they don't know me nor have they walked in my shoes.<br /> <br />And bottom line? I want to enjoy the steam room and you want to enjoy the classes and we do what we can and no one has the right to judge us, but they are probably going to do it anyway - so do what you like, what you can and enjoy it and let go of the illusion that anyone or anything is perfect because there is no such thing and if there is it would be boring anyway.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12768569658001165651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-46879549174516374102011-01-04T13:24:17.803-05:002011-01-04T13:24:17.803-05:00Amen, sista! I have been on both sides of that fe...Amen, sista! I have been on both sides of that feeling spectrum (the encourager and the encouragee) and hear what you are saying. Oh, and I also clean before the cleaners--I am like a madwoman, but, boy does my husband love me for it. LOL!The Bejeweld Coastie Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16066782116014206681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-63432646510301577182011-01-04T00:04:54.520-05:002011-01-04T00:04:54.520-05:00You go girl!You go girl!Lomagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09273397354830985024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-56928877161039865312011-01-03T11:20:42.254-05:002011-01-03T11:20:42.254-05:00This is one of your best posts ever, and it speaks...This is one of your best posts ever, and it speaks to many people. Lots of us have been there, or are there still. <br /><br />I think I'd keep looking for an even better solution for the foot pain.<br /><br />Somewhere out there is a podiatrist or someone who can make it better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-54067840590424948892011-01-02T16:29:23.158-05:002011-01-02T16:29:23.158-05:00I can't think of anything intelligent to comme...I can't think of anything intelligent to comment. But I love this post. Happy New Year, Barb!kimhttp://chronicennui.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-86251338668666056032011-01-02T16:21:00.310-05:002011-01-02T16:21:00.310-05:00You are amazing.
I know, one of the times, when I...You are amazing.<br /><br />I know, one of the times, when I internalized the "my needs and wants don't exist" thing:<br /><br />I was a teenager "rough-housing" with a family friend. An accident occurred (his fault); I was hurt. When my parents reached me, their first comment was "Don't make a big deal out of it, George will feel bad." I looked at them and thought "Dudes, I'm about to get stitches and a cast and feel bad for weeks and you don't want George to feel bad?"<br /><br />My point is only that is you look hard enough, you can find the moments. But it isn't important. <br /><br />What is important: where you are right now and where you go from here.Bullwinklehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12765320040505378403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-86207886320329160012011-01-02T14:26:26.302-05:002011-01-02T14:26:26.302-05:00Hey, you! Love this one. Oddly coincidental messag...Hey, you! Love this one. Oddly coincidental message (but then, again, not...cause it's YOU)...<br />Realized yesterday that I was making a grocery list and cooking on new year's (you know, that leisurely, hours-long process that fills the house with warmth and yummy aromas?) a meal that really only my husband loves. The kids don't eat it, and it's not even on my top 10 list. But it's wintry and warms the soul and gets better the longer it cooks. Okay, so I scrapped that idea and made roast chicken instead, which everyone LOVES and fills the house with a lemony-thyme-y roasted hominess that I adore. Score one for me. :)<br />Then I realized that I was, at the same time, making one of my top 5 meals for a friend whose father just passed. A meal I never make for my family because it is not one my husband loves and my kids don't eat it (kids sound picky, but both of these are tomato-based and horror of horrors they do not eat tomato products). My favorite meals most often include tomato products, but that's beside the point. <br />I guess your piece just resonated...I also often place my own wishes or wants last. Not always, but I was conscious of it yesterday, and then this post. Thanks for your psychic powers. <br />Now, as far as disability goes, you are talking to the woman who often has a 4 year old with multiple disabilities in tow. I just completed a course on Disability Studies for my masters, and I am here to tell you, Barb, disability does NOT define a person. I know you know this, but I want to second your statement, because a person is NEVER, EVER their disability. <br />If that were true, Sean would BE Down syndrome. Hearing impairment. Possibly autism. Developmental Delays. He'd be "nonverbal." But he's Sean...full of personality, humor, skills and abilities, hugs and kisses, and all the potential in the world. <br />New normal was what happened when he was born. You are figuring out your new normal (trust me, it takes time...we are still figuring it out), but with the help of yoga and meditation and adapted exercise programs -- and I'm sure your creative mind can think of more -- you will change the world for the better of all people who have your type of disability. Or figure out how to make life okay with your particular challenges. Living loud is one such way...love that!!!<br />You are amazing. I look forward to hearing what you have to say in 2011. Cheers to you!!!Kathynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-52370857995499651292011-01-02T14:23:22.876-05:002011-01-02T14:23:22.876-05:00Yay you! You are worth it!Yay you! You are worth it!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03707312160893238672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-32727640232824246672011-01-02T14:14:44.911-05:002011-01-02T14:14:44.911-05:00Another great post, Barb. I think we have shame a...Another great post, Barb. I think we have shame all wrong. Like guilt, if it motivates us to make positive changes, then it is not a villain. But if we use it to flog ourselves and stay stuck, best to hand it a black hat and avoid corrals (OK or otherwise) in the middle of the day.<br /><br />2010 was the year I finally got rid of a persistent case of athletes foot. The toenails on my big toes have been gone for several years, because they would not learn manners (i.e., kept getting ingrown). The other toenails are skewed, thickened, or otherwise not-Hollywood-issue. A pedicure would only make the State of the Feet more obvious.<br /><br />Friday night I danced barefoot at the New Year's Eve dance. I actually let the new guy see my less than perfect feet. He was way more concerned with not stepping on them, than he was about what they looked like. Score: Ms. Ravelled 1, Shame 0. We count all the small victories.Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07712412874073377368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-53527837586024926172011-01-02T13:32:21.102-05:002011-01-02T13:32:21.102-05:00Way to go, Barb. When did you suddenly get the ab...Way to go, Barb. When did you suddenly get the ability to get into my brain and write down my thoughts?<br /><br />This post is a real keeper to go back to over and over again. Thank you.Mokihanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11504052259244873399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-63111598375347449952011-01-02T10:11:44.803-05:002011-01-02T10:11:44.803-05:00Barb, congratulations. Shame is with us all, I thi...Barb, congratulations. Shame is with us all, I think, and needs to be uncovered before it can be dealt with. I had immense shame over *being myself* and not being, for example, exactly like my ex-husband instead (as he tried to make me be). Alcoholics Anonymous actually has the best literature I've found on Shame, what it is, how to get rid of it. Oh and the related Co-dependents literature. A "fearless moral inventory" (step 4) uncovers and, for me at least, the confession (step 5), got rid of the basement of shame I had, and miraculously helped me understand what is NOT worthy of guilt or shame (i.e. being me, which as it turns out some people love me for). *WE* love ya for being you, go BARB! you rock!<br /><br />SarahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-75284325229087551352011-01-02T09:41:11.955-05:002011-01-02T09:41:11.955-05:00Great post, Barb. I hope in the New Year you'...Great post, Barb. I hope in the New Year you'll find your way to working less hard!Sherry Sea from Austinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10359260351695608564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-10156939988818039162011-01-02T09:19:29.289-05:002011-01-02T09:19:29.289-05:00Love this post, LOVE it, and I think I would have ...Love this post, LOVE it, and I think I would have cried too. I have similar neuroses if that's the right word, because of course it's wrong to do anything that will make you visible! Must stay under the radar at all times. Shame is a nasty thing. I'm working being more Me this year too, hoping to chip away at some of the things that seem hard-wired but I know are just reactions to other stuff. I can't wait to see a Living Out Loud Barb :).bethanyhttp://www.sanemoms.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908127.post-30792412754885464782011-01-02T09:14:28.878-05:002011-01-02T09:14:28.878-05:00WOW.
Go, Barb.
After actually having my pants FALL...WOW.<br />Go, Barb.<br />After actually <i>having my pants FALL</i> when getting out of a taxi, and not just imagining it (wearing a long coat, though, so only I knew), I think you made The Right Choice in getting those new yoga togs.<br /><br />Thank you for the pep talk (which was talkin' to ME, just so you know), so, so, SO much. Happy New Year.tanita✿davishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01671822274852087499noreply@blogger.com