How to Scare Ten Years Off of the Life of the Average Barb

Okay, Okay, I realize there probably isn't such a thing as an average Barb but dudes... you will NOT believe what just happened.

Okay, so this morning, I got a call from this nice Realtor asking if she could come "preview" my house for a client of hers. She wanted to come later in the morning, which sounded great to me so I turned on all the lights and heat and vacuumed and made all the beds, etc. I locked the dogs down into the yard and packed up my knitting (along with my camera and my diamond--my most valuable possessions, in other words) and went and ran some errands. When I was starving, I came back to the house and groused around a bit because the Realtor hadn't left a card.

Can you tell where this is going?

Anyway, I did my Thursday volunteer stuff and I did a really big grocery shop and I had gotten everything unloaded and unpacked when I heard...well...the call of nature so I went into the restroom. Naturally, I also heard the doorbell at almost that same time. But since I took down the "No Soliciting" sign from outside of my front door, we seem to have had a plague of door-to-door salesman coming by and I just decided to, um, well, not get up.

(I'm really trying hard not to give you all some sort of unwanted visual, not to mention not wanting to say something vulgar. It is surprisingly difficult since, you know, I really was in the potty and it's hard not to resort to potty-talk when you're talking about the potty.)

So, anyway, I finished in the potty and came out and ran smack into this little woman in my hallway.

And screamed a little scream as I felt about ten years of life ebbing from my life.

It was the Realtor from the morning, who hadn't ever made it by and who had used the lock box to come in. I didn't hear her because I was... indisposed.

Now, there are many reasons why she was totally in the wrong. She could have called to tell me she wasn't coming in the morning--which might have been nice since my dogs were locked out in the cold. She could have called to tell me she was coming NOW, which would have been nice because I could have gotten the house all ready instead of rushing around, three feet in front of her, turning on lights and chattering inanely. It was clear she was embarrassed and just wanted to leave.

So she left and I am sitting here, minus a few years of my life, and still feeling badly because she didn't get to see the house in its best light. Which is crazy.

Please no jokes about scaring the... whatever out of someone. Once you've witnessed this first hand, it's just not funny anymore. (Have I told y'all that story? I tried to find it in the blog but couldn't.)

Okay, on to other things.

I am fascinated by Edward's feet.

Look how he curls them.


He does this all the time, even when he's sound asleep.


*I* would get a cramp.

Are you totally fascinated? Edward is.