Miss Me?
Did ya miss me? Did ya? Did ya? Huh? Huh?
Did you even notice I was gone?
Well, I was. My husband took me and the kids to Southampton for the weekend to see how the otherhalf one-eighth one third of two-forty-fifths of one percent live. We went to visit Coop's old friend --a self-made man who definitely made good--and his lovely, charming family.
I have to admit that I didn't want to go. There was a time in my life when, while not exactly one of the Beautiful People, I felt just fine hanging out with them. At this time in my life, though, I feel so Very. Horribly. Awfully. NOT.
Beautiful.
But it wasn't at all like that. They are really beautiful people but the funny thing about parenthood is that it's the great equalizer. I mean, this family had beautiful home in one of the most beautiful areas near some of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, but even with a lot of help, they were still dealing with their teething little eleven-month-old (who, by the way, I thought seriously about just packing right up in my suitcase and bringing home with me) and their two-and-a-half year old, who was very cute but still in that not-totally-fluent-in-English, big into "NO!" phase. They were so nice and such generous, gracious hosts. We had a really nice time.
Of larger issue is how much of my life I have spent eating at the same table as the popular kids and not ever, even once, feeling like I belong there. I mean, I am forty-freaking-three years old. Will I EVER feel like I'm good enough, smart enough, thin enough, rich enough, funny enough, creative enough, kind enough, hip enough --will I ever feel like who I am is ENOUGH?
Well, enough of all that (for today anyway) because today? My girls got bean-bag chairs.
Dude. There is nothing cooler.
Did you even notice I was gone?
Well, I was. My husband took me and the kids to Southampton for the weekend to see how the other
I have to admit that I didn't want to go. There was a time in my life when, while not exactly one of the Beautiful People, I felt just fine hanging out with them. At this time in my life, though, I feel so Very. Horribly. Awfully. NOT.
Beautiful.
But it wasn't at all like that. They are really beautiful people but the funny thing about parenthood is that it's the great equalizer. I mean, this family had beautiful home in one of the most beautiful areas near some of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, but even with a lot of help, they were still dealing with their teething little eleven-month-old (who, by the way, I thought seriously about just packing right up in my suitcase and bringing home with me) and their two-and-a-half year old, who was very cute but still in that not-totally-fluent-in-English, big into "NO!" phase. They were so nice and such generous, gracious hosts. We had a really nice time.
Of larger issue is how much of my life I have spent eating at the same table as the popular kids and not ever, even once, feeling like I belong there. I mean, I am forty-freaking-three years old. Will I EVER feel like I'm good enough, smart enough, thin enough, rich enough, funny enough, creative enough, kind enough, hip enough --will I ever feel like who I am is ENOUGH?
Well, enough of all that (for today anyway) because today? My girls got bean-bag chairs.
Dude. There is nothing cooler.
Comments
Yes, I did miss you, but more because I hadn't checked your blog than I knew you were gone. I've been offline alot lately, but that's a story for another day...maybe I'll blog about it. Might help.
Glad you're back!
I missed you, but I missed you because I was away too...and I was at my mama's birthday party and sitting outside my sister's house watching the Harleys cruise by. Could we have HAD more different weekends?