Monday, November 02, 2009

Today's Halloween Post

Today I was supposed to tell you all about our Halloween. However, instead I am going to tell you that someone really made me mad last week and I've been fantasizing about sending him/her an anonymous present of poop through the mail.

And not just any poop, actually, ELEPHANT POOP. (Don't click on that if you are eating.)

I won't do it because y'all know how I'm from the South and we don't actually DO bodily functions. Well, okay, we DO them but we don't ADMIT to doing them so this means I can't actually acknowledge the fact that this person really deserves a large load of elephant feces delivered to his/her door.

It sure is fun to think about, though.

10 comments:

Ei said...

You frighten me sometimes, Barb. That is good. I like that in a person.

joannamauselina said...

Actually, if elephant poop is anything like horse poop, it isn't actually that bad. Tiger poop would probably be a lot better. I too had a person make me incredibly angry last week - so angry that I had revenge fantasies. We can spiritually stew together.

Bullwinkle said...

ewwwwwwwwwwww.

but I totally appreciate that you know about these things. (iiiiiccckkk)

And I'm sorry someone made you that mad.

May it never be me.

Becca said...

The Toronto zoo sells bags of poop from their various animals.I bet other zoos do too. It's intended for fertilizer but I am sure it could go for other uses....

kim said...

Okay, you know that I have paranoia issues. What did I do to you? If I go home tonight, and there is poo on my poor, well, I know your address, and there will be repercussions.

kim said...

Porch, not poor. See? You made me nervous....

Susan said...

What in the world got you so poopin' mad?

Mama Ava said...

Yeah, you were probably thinking that you were SUPER mad so you were looking for SUPER BIG poop. But that's where you're oh-so-wrong. My little dog ate sumpin' funny and WHOOOHOOOO....what a mushy smelly MESS. I supposed Long Island doesn't have a lot of...pigs, say. Or chickens. Good (and nefarious) things come in small packages.

Sherry Sea from Austin said...

My own paranoia problem is possibly worse than Kim's, but I'll try to dampen it down with another slug of coffee. But you since mentioned Southern, I'll take that as code for it is some Yankee who has made you mad. Whatever I am, I'm certainly not a Yankee.

STQ said...

Barb, I have to agree with you that there are people who just need a giant load delivered to their front door. I have a person like that in my life too. And it's been ongoing for four months. And she (and her husband) recently showed me how dangerous she is. Seriously dangerous. So, I'm not delivering anything to her, and am currently in the process of forgetting she exists. Just wanted to tell you I'm right there with you, because if you are like me, you sometimes think it's not crazy, it's me. Nope, it's crazy. We have a lot in common and I'm sorry we never met when we were both living in Austin. I think we would have been friends! :) God bless ya, girl and I will pray for you and the food thing...