Really, Someone Should Collect My Letters for Posterity

I cannot adequately describe what these cans smell like.  But I CAN tell you that I will NEVER forget it.  Ever.  Even with strong drugs.


Dear Petflow.com

I received my shipment of cat food today. Unfortunately, the box lacked proper packing material or had some other issue, because three of the large cans of cat food had been compromised and had leaked all over the others. The shipment then sat on my front porch in the hot sun all day and now smells like something DIED on the cans. There are foul stenches in this world --and I'm a mother so I am familiar with a lot of them--but I have rarely smelled anything more gag-inducing than the smell of canned cat food that has been out in the sun all day.

I can deal with the smell--sort of--since I'm dieting (and who needs to feel hungry, anyway?), but would like for the damaged cans to be credited to my next shipment.

If you want me to, I can send the three open cans back to you.

In case you're dieting, too.

Sincerely,
Barb Cooper

Comments

Lynn said…
*Brilliant*. That should get their attention!
Holly said…
Just wondering how you would script one to weight watchers. I am in love with one of there ice cream bars and one package in the box was sealed and missing the bar! Now that takes dieting to another level.
Barb said…
To their credit, the company called me as soon as they got the note. I have to send them some labels but they are all over crediting the damaged cans to my account. The woman was very nice and even apologized that I had to learn what canned cat food smells like after it's been in the sun all day!

I had to put all of the other cans out in the garage, though. Because they still stink mightily.

Holly, maybe you can write and ask them how to figure out the points in the empty package. Maybe you've earned exercise credit for the expenditure of effort in opening the dang thing!
The BlogHore said…
Um. Ew.

Proud of you for writing that brilliant letter though.

BTW. I received a little package in the mail yesterday. LOVE it. Am going to model it and take a picture for my F'Book photo.

L.O.V.E. it (and you!)
Bullwinkle said…
LOL. Wonderful, wonderful letter. And prompt customer service ;)
LaDonna said…
Best. Letter. Ever! You are the Queen of Prose!
shaatzie said…
Isn't it wonderful when Life gets dull, that just about anything can happen to make it all—well, everything comes back into focus, shall we say?

Love the letter. Incidentily, I am a friend of a friend of yours that put me on to your blog, and it's shaping up that you feel like a friend. I love your musing on raising kids, plants and just a little hell now and again.

Keep writing. How is the book coming?
Mokihana said…
Wow, you're the greatest! I love your letter! I'm really glad you got such a good response from the company.
Tenna Draper said…
Ah, the cans burst in the heat? Yes, this stuff spoils just like people food--and the smell is horrible even on a GOOD day.

The smell though, you might be able to compromise the smell by using baking soda in the water you wash them with, and don't take for granted that they aren't ALSO compromised--the seal can rupture in this kind of heat, and you'd never see it visually. Frankly, I think they should replace the whole shipment. Yuck.
Susan said…
I like your style am I am sure the company enjoys getting an articulate and humerous letter of complaint.
The BlogHore said…
I think it's time to upload a tomato sandwich picture!
The BlogHore said…
I think it's time to upload a tomato sandwich picture.
Ei said…
Hey, I'm gonna be really eloqent here...where the hell are you? You realize it's AUGUST, right? :P

Miss your face. (Or blog...or whatever. You know)