Not Drinking Alcohol, reprise


Some time ago (2013), I wrote this about not drinking. I'm tempted to say, "Ditto." and go on about my life.

Because here I am again. After my divorce, when I started dating again, I started drinking alcohol again. Moderately. It was pretty fun.

Until it wasn't.

In 2020, when my pain from osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia got super loud, I drank a LOT. Every day, for months.

Then I started to take months off from drinking, as I tried new meds. I stopped drinking on work nights for stretches. And around Thanksgiving, I just stopped.

I didn't want to do anything formal or official or make some big proclamation because I am trying very hard to stop living as though the world works in absolutes. I wanted to stop the big gestures, the big campaigns. I've always lived my life as a series of projects or experiments and frankly, I'm tired of that part of myself. I'm so tired of the righteousness and stridency of people engaged in moral absolutism.

So, I'm not drinking right now, and although I have the occasional desire to have a glass of wine, I hope this is another step in returning to living in a way that feels aligned with my values. For me, mind you. My partner drinks alcohol. I wouldn't ask him to give that up. I wouldn't ask anyone to give it up unless it was causing some difficulty in their lives, but even then, it has to be their choice, or it just creates more internal conflict.

I guess for me, that's the litmus test: do I have more peace with or without a habit?

(This does not bode well for my coffee intake. Jinkies.)


psam ordener said…
I don't drink because I take a medicine to keep my heart beating properly that does not go well with alcohol. I never drank much, but I do love the taste of a margarita (my particular favorite drink). However, I'd rather keep my heart beating so I can keep on interacting with the fascinating people in my family group (hubby and sons) and with the friends I've made and hung onto over the years.

I was glad to find that there is alcohol-free champagne, but I didn't like it enough to stock up. There is supposedly alcohol-free tequila, and as soon as it's available locally I'm going to get some to see if a margarita will taste as good with that. If not, I can do without.

You're doing what is right for you, and letting those around you make their own choices. That's a good thing! Hang in there.
Kimos said…
Sorry for the detour... Hi Psam! long time. Let me know if virgin margaritas work Barb, still too long a time.
Ei said…
I don't drink because it makes me feel like garbage, but even I get tempted into it sometimes. Love to you, wishing you wellness.