Groceries and Freaking Love Thursday

I had to go grocery shopping.


No, I mean, I really HAD to go because I hadn't actually done a Big Shop, as I like to call it, since my foot surgery in March.


I'm not kidding.


I have done some Lessor Shops and my poor beleaguered husband has been to the grocery store about five times a week on his way home from work. In fact, this is really the reason why I felt like I HAD to go today, because when I told him that I hadn't gone to the grocery store yesterday because we had all these kids at our house on various play dates, he said, "I think you're just going to have to take those girls and lower the hammer if they are awful." And then he said something about how if I could go, it would make it much easier on HIM and since I've been feeling all guilty about how much he does around the house and with the girls in addition to working a full-time job and funding this little frat party we've got going, I made up my mind to go.


Jane went to a friend's house and I called the mom and told her that I had to go grocery shopping, otherwise the girls could play at our house. Could they come play over here when I got back? I guess I wasn't specific enough about how long I'd be gone, though--but I'm getting ahead of myself.


Anyway, Ana and I set out at 11:00.


We got home at 1:15.


Yes, we were gone for more than two hours.


Grocery shopping. For more than two hours.


We spent...


{are you ready?}


$385.81

!!!!

And I didn't even buy WINE!


$385.81!!


Well, okay, I used some coupons and the total came out to $383.82.


Big freaking difference, that.


Do you want to know how much $383.82 will buy at the grocery store?


Do you?


Well, I can't show you because I couldn't take the time to take a picture because I had frozen foods and all that had to be put away as soon as possible.


But I did take a picture of the register tape.

(That's the sock I'm knitting for my neighbor who lost her son in a car accident last week. Because, why, yes, I am the type of person who would have shown up to the Chicago Fire saying, "I have this thimble full of water --will that help? Oops. Spilled it.")

(Seriously, I want to do something and there is nothing to be done. Nothing that will make her feel better. Nothing that will bring her boy back. Not food or flowers or anything at all that hasn't already been provided. So I am knitting and praying for her with every stitch.)

So, get this, we get back from the grocery store and my husband's car is in the driveway. "Thank you, Lord," I murmured. "Ohthankyou! Someone to help me unload all this stuff!"

But no, it turns out that he had forgotten something and come by the house to get it when JANE showed up at the door. My friend had to go somewhere and was waiting for me to get home, not suspecting that I would be gone for more than two hours. And my husband, who had a meeting in about five minutes and needed to leave, couldn't reach me because I didn't have my phone.

So, he was highly stressed and had to leave quickly and he was late. He was really, really nice about it and all, except when he said, "And you didn't have your PHONE" when I think I might have heard a low growl. (It's sort of an on-going source of friction that I am cell-phone-challenged. I never have it when I need it and I can't hear it ring half the time and I refuse to talk on it when I'm driving ever since I read that your chances of having an accident go up by 400% (FOUR HUNDRED FREAKING PERCENT!) if you are talking on the phone.)

So, anyway, he left and I finished unloading the groceries and then I put them away, all of which took me another WHOLE hour, during which I discovered that Jane had dropped the one bag I asked her to carry in, and it just happened to be the bag that had the eggs in it.

Not that I'm bitter.

Are you wondering if from now on I will go grocery shopping more often and avoid these types of marathon...sessions? (Ooh, DUDE, I just wrote a phrase that starts with "cluster" and ends with something very foul. Forgive me. Clearly I am overwrought.) Are you thinking that I might have learned my lesson and will go grocery shopping weekly from now on?

Not bloody likely.

Happy Love Thursday. I'm going back to bed now.