This will NOT STAND

All-righty, then.

I am sitting in my living room, in front of a roaring fire and I am staring at my Christmas tree with a loathing I haven't felt since the Reagan administration.

There is one strand of lights--one short section of one strand actually --that will freaking just not blink.

I have confessed before that I just will not be beaten by those stupid red-tipped lights that make the lights blink on my tree. I can crush them like...tiny little light bulbs. And I will --hear me, because OH YES, I WILL.

I don't even actually much care about the lights blinking but since Coop cares, I kind of got on that train and now, oh Manufacturers of Red-Tipped Bulbs That Promote Blinking, I WILL NOT BE DENIED.

Because I am sitting here in my house, which has fourteen upside-down shutters on the front (much to the amusement of my neighbors), in my house where I finally have a functioning dryer, which I got fixed just in time to wash and dry a bunch of towels that had to be used when we discovered that our instant hot water system in the kitchen had rusted through and been dripping for, I don't know, like a year. Judging by the particle board on the floor of the cabinet, which now looks like some sort of science experiment.

We have many house-guests expected tomorrow, my MIL is here even as we speak, I ordered the wrong (incredibly expensive) American Girl Doll for Jane, I have a dog in a bonnet, a cat with a (sorry) anal gland issue, a foot shot full of non-effective steroids,my parents and Santa are coming tomorrow and BY GOD, I WILL have blinking lights on my tree.

I am not asking that much.

Comments

It's a control issue, really. Everything else is out of your hands, but this...this is one thing that you should be able to have some say over.

My holiday is blown to hell. So I am making plans for next year.
Candy said…
There's only one thing left to do... undecorate the entire tree and start over with new lights. That's all that's left... *snicker*

Coop would be calling the dudes in white coats for sure!
Damsel said…
YAY for prioritizing!!! WTG, Barb. You MUST put all of your eggs in THE most important basket, and get those (*$&@*#&% lights blinking!
Why are you not asking for wine donations? I totally would be.

Best wishes for keeping your sanity over the next few days.
Sue said…
hee hee hee

Merry Christmas anyway, tee hee
DK said…
Ah, Christmas, the season of miracles....miracles, and the highest suicide rate of the year. Good times, good times...
Oh Barb--look on the bright side--pretty soon it will be January, and you can take the f'ing tree down!

The shutter story slays me. I'd be furious too. Stupid men.
Tenna Draper said…
Barb, (shakes head), oh, Barb...do we need some Xanax?

Your problem isn't the BULB, dear, it's the FUSE.

Go to the store, and buy yourself a package of them--because they don't last long.

Secondly, don't string your light strings together--string them separately, and use a multiple plug cord. You can get them at Wally World (Walmart) or any hardware store.

(This of course, on Christmas Eve)

Better a day before, than late...
Barb said…
No, it was a bulb. Because I replaced the bulb and the whole tree was blinking. Unfortunately, somehow it transferred its Karma to our downstairs smoke alarm, which decided to chirp at 3:00 in the morning.

Which was okay, because I was up with a migraine anyway. Except I had to wake up my husband to change the battery because I could NOT open the chamber where it was kept. Possibly, it was engineered by my painters.

Anyway... I'm afraid to say this, but MERRY CHRISTMAS!

(Shhhh!)
Linda said…
It's that kind of Christmas. On Saturday night, I was run over by a stocking cart in the grocery store and sustained a nice flesh wound (think Monty Python) to my left ankle. Apparently I was still a bit distressed when I came home (in the rain) to put the groceries away because I discovered this morning (Monday) that I'd left the corned beef for the Reuben Ring out on the counter for oh, 36 hours. I only have 25 people coming to my house tomorrow.

Bah.

And humbug.

Merry Christmas to the Coopers, though. The girls look adorable in their pajamas.
Sarah said…
No matter how we approach it, the Christmas Lights makes us bananas every year! This year we went through no less than 8 strands looking for the bulb culprit who was causing light outage. After much frustration we threw at least half of them out!

Belated Merry Xmas and a very happy New Year!!