This will NOT STAND

All-righty, then.

I am sitting in my living room, in front of a roaring fire and I am staring at my Christmas tree with a loathing I haven't felt since the Reagan administration.

There is one strand of lights--one short section of one strand actually --that will freaking just not blink.

I have confessed before that I just will not be beaten by those stupid red-tipped lights that make the lights blink on my tree. I can crush them like...tiny little light bulbs. And I will --hear me, because OH YES, I WILL.

I don't even actually much care about the lights blinking but since Coop cares, I kind of got on that train and now, oh Manufacturers of Red-Tipped Bulbs That Promote Blinking, I WILL NOT BE DENIED.

Because I am sitting here in my house, which has fourteen upside-down shutters on the front (much to the amusement of my neighbors), in my house where I finally have a functioning dryer, which I got fixed just in time to wash and dry a bunch of towels that had to be used when we discovered that our instant hot water system in the kitchen had rusted through and been dripping for, I don't know, like a year. Judging by the particle board on the floor of the cabinet, which now looks like some sort of science experiment.

We have many house-guests expected tomorrow, my MIL is here even as we speak, I ordered the wrong (incredibly expensive) American Girl Doll for Jane, I have a dog in a bonnet, a cat with a (sorry) anal gland issue, a foot shot full of non-effective steroids,my parents and Santa are coming tomorrow and BY GOD, I WILL have blinking lights on my tree.

I am not asking that much.