I Miss My Kitty

I really do. I miss my cat Edward and his silly feet. He's been gone a week now. I'm trying very hard not to lose hope, especially since so many readers have written to say they lost their cats the same way and had them come back unexpectedly. In order to take my mind off of his disappearance, I find myself constructing fanciful stories about the dumbest things in the oddest places.

To wit: There's this Wallpaper in our half-bathroom. I believe I've mentioned it before. When we first saw the house, I think I reported that there was a woman churning butter on this wall paper.

This turns out to Not Be True.

No, upon deeper study and reflection, there appear to be many scenes depicted from Life at a Winery. As wallpaper goes, this is War and Peace. Or maybe something by Steinbeck, which always features plenty of wine.

It leaves many questions but the following is this Wallpaper Scholar's interpretation of Life in the Half Bath.

First, we see our heroine, stoic and proud and dreamily fetching water from the town fountain. Water is very important for making wine. It might take a bit more than she's fetching in that pitcher but perhaps this water is just in case she gets thirsty.

(Dudes, I have no idea why her blush is blue. It keeps me awake at night.)


Later she helps the poor but proud farm boy to load the grapes onto the wagon, which is just not that easy in such a skirt.
Lunchtime comes and Our Lady sits down for a break. Oh dear, I see what is coming. Poor, poor thing. Clearly, she has stresses we cannot fathom.

Unfortunately, she cannot find her solace in the bottle if she wants to save the vineyard from the grasp of the manipulative owner of the competitor winery down the road. Although she does find him ruggedly handsome for such a fiend. Nevertheless, we hope she pulls herself together and stays strong because it's very, very clear what the grape is doing to her productivity...




(What does it say about me that the expression on her face makes me laugh out loud? Clearly, I need therapy.)

You can see why I couldn't live with that wallpaper--I mean, where's the ending? Where's the part where the poor, but proud, farm boy turns over his savings to pay the taxes on the vineyard and in the process, divulges that the competitor vineyard owner wasn't always like this. Before his wife died in that hunting accident, he was the most charming and generous benefactor ever.

And dudes, where the part where he catches her drinking and she throws up on his shoes?

Oh, wait, wrong genre.

Anyway, clearly it was time for the wallpaper to go. The painter painted over it on Friday. Now the only thing to do is to try to figure out what exactly is going on with that Rooster on the kitchen walls...

I'm sure it's Freudian but the first couple of times I looked at this wallpaper, I thought the rooster was wearing a top hat. And that seemed perfectly normal to me, you betcha.

I frighten and amuse myself.

Comments

Lori said…
Very sad Edward's still galivanting around, but keeping positive thoughts for you.
Kinda sad the wallpaper's been painted over already - I was getting interested in your narrative. I want to know what happens now.
Gad, what does that say about me?
Lynn said…
Toile's well that ends well?

Edward has probably found a girlfriend who thinks his drawl is the best thing since Matthew McHowever-You-Spell-It.
Tenna Draper said…
If you haven't put up fliers and located the closest vet and humane society I recommend you do so asap. Cats love to hide when they're stressed--see if you can find a neighbor who has a porch that he can hide under and stuff. Get the children involved the canvas the neighborhood. If he's out for too long, dire consequences await.
Barb said…
Tenna, we've canvassed the neighborhood and put up fliers and Edward has a microchip. Please don't leave me any more warnings of dire consequences, though, because I am sad/worried enough!

I'm finally back on my regular computer instead of the laptop but I can't send e-mail yet. So, I just blog instead!

Barb
Painted over it? Is that allowed? Does that mean I don't have to wait until I have time to strip the wallpaper from my master bath to make it into the (tiny) bathroom of my dreams?
Barb said…
No, if the seams are stuck down really tightly, you can actually paint over it. You have to use a special primer but it worked in my dining room. I can't even talk about THAT wall-paper.

Unfortunately, the Rooster paper in the kitchen? NOT stuck down tightly so I am removing it. I would let the painter do it but he gets $200 a day and it seems like a better use of my money to have him do what I can't do so well.

It is HIDEOUS, AWFUL, HORRIBLE work, though. Can't recommend it.
MadMad said…
Oh, I'm so sorry, Barb, that he's not back yet. Darn. I was sure he'd come back or that you'd find him somewhere hidden. Darn, darn, darn.

That wallpaper "story" is hysterical - why IS their blush blue?!
LaDonna said…
Yes, I agree, removing wallpaper is HORRIBLE, AWFUL work!! Do you have a scoring tool? If not, I highly recommend spending the 7 to 10 dollars they cost and get one. But don't waste your money on the the stripping chemical...a little soapy water will do the EXACT same thing.

Don't worry if all the scraps don't come off completely, just sand those areas well and once you paint, you'll never see them :)

Since removing wallpaper can be such a frustrating process, it should help keep your mind off of Edward until he decides to come home. Pleeeeez come home, Edward!!!
David said…
Theory: it's not blue blush, it's juice from the smooshied grapes that are being made into wine. She is so into her task that she has smeared said grape juice on her cheeks unknowingly -- or perhaps in a conscious effort to show how hard she is working. (Kind of like the mom who throws flour on her face whilst making Rice Krispie treats so that her family will think she slaved over them.)

Here's hoping Edward meanders home. But at least he didn't bust out Thomas, Scout and Syd in a brave but misguided attempt to re-enact "The Incredible Journey."

Sounds like the girls are liking the new neighborhood. When does school start?

<3 Linda
Ei said…
Why are your blogs taking so very long to come to me my friend? Am I destined to always be the last to comment?

I hope that Edward will come and save you from having to make up stories about the painted walls, because those would probably be bleak. ;) Hugs.

The rooster in a top hat makes me laugh hysterically. Why is that?

Was first day of new school? Eeep.
Barbara said…
I just caught up on your last few posts and I'm so sad that your Edward is missing. I think I first came across your blog last year when he was missing for a few days. What a monkey he is!

We are just in the process of thinking about letting our ginger boy out into the wide world and it's so hard but I know that I can't make him be an indoor cat - I wouldn't want to actually - so it's all in the lap of the gods really and we just have to hope that he loves home so much he won't go far.

I am so keeping my fingers crossed that Edward finds his way home.
DK said…
I think those roosters are a gay couple. Those chicks must be adopted.

Come HOME, Edward!!!!!
Anonymous said…
Barb-congratulations on your move, and on finding a PAINTER so soon! That's a miracle.
One suggestion on Edward-my neighbor's strictly indoor (until he escaped) cat had been gone for a month. The owners had done all of what you have done, but no Maggie. One day, my neighbor went out into the yard by herself, sat on the lawn near the edge of the property, and quietly called Maggie's name. And out of the woods came Maggie! We think she had been living there the whole month, just too afraid or disoriented to come when she heard the kids playing outside, etc. Anyway, try going out and just being still and softly call for him. You never know...
Hope you love your new home and the proximity to NYC...
jmokeeffe
Brendy Vaughn said…
It must be a ginger kitty thing! My cat Biscuit is the only one of our 4 cats who insists on being let outside. I hope Edward comes home soon.
Mokihana said…
I imagine Edward was so scared he ran to the closest good hiding place? Could he be in a tree? In someone's crawl space? Where is the nearest safe place?

I woke up in the middle of the night and was praying he'd come home/be found, and those ideas occured to me.

You've probably already looked there...

Still praying.... come home, Edward!
adrienne_grover said…
You might want to try the quiet calling idea. My indoor kitty has gotten out a few times and she will NEVER come back in when I/we go out and call her and shake food around, leave treats, etc. What I finally found that has worked is going out and calling her, then just leaving the back door open. When it's quiet and the kids and dog are not around is typically when she quietly slinks back in.

Now, I'm not really sure how that will work for you in your new climate, but maybe you could give it a try somehow? Go out and call him, shake some food around, then just leave the door open for a bit, keeping the rest of the brood away?

Good luck...I hope he comes home SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Adrienne
Bethany said…
He's not wearing a top hat?