Closing Time



Early this morning, in the still wee hours, I heard Sydney crying. It's storming and she gets very afraid. Actually, I thought it was SCOUT crying so I sent my husband down (all things to do with Scout fall under HIS purview because he is the misguided soul who brought Scout home in the first place.) and he found Sydney in a pool of her own urine, unable to get up. She'd had one of those heart episodes again, only this time, she hadn't been exerting herself prior to it, unless the fear of the storm brought it on.

She's okay now --even ate a bit of breakfast. But...

Um...

I just...

Well.

If you wouldn't mind praying that she goes peacefully on her own and that I don't have to have her put to sleep, I would really appreciate it. I haven't found a vet who will come to our house yet and the idea of putting her in the car to take her to her end is more than I can bear to think about.

I think one way or the other, though, she's in her last weeks, maybe week. It's been almost a YEAR since her stroke and the bee incident and we didn't expect to have her this long.

Oddly enough, this doesn't make losing her easier now.

In fact, I'm pretty sure my heart is breaking. If you sit still, I bet you can hear it from where you are.

I love you, Syd. Go easy and go home. I think it's closing time.


So stack those chairs upon those tables
And stack those empties upon that bar
And count your money
And count my money
And hear those bottles ringing
You know where you are

Closing time
Unplug them people
And send them home
It's closing time

The night's all that's left behind
You take your part and I'll take mine
And go on home
It's closing time

Comments

Bullwinkle said…
((Hugs)) and just a snippet from "Request from the Rainbow Bridge" by Constance Jenkins

"Please do not dwell upon my death,
but celebrate my life."

Snuggle the old dog. Just snuggle.
hokgardner said…
I am so sorry Barb. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
Mrs.Q said…
I'm so sorry. I know how hard that is. The Quimby household sends good thoughts to you and all your fambly, two-and-four-legged alike.
I'm sorry for you and your family. We've lost both a dog and a cat in the last year, who had been with us for many years. It's not easy even when you know it is best for them.
DK said…
Oh, honey. I'm just so, so sorry...
Jennifer said…
Oh Barb, I am so sorry. Thinking of you here in Ohio...
Miriam said…
I hope your dog goes peacefully. It is so sad to lose a beloved pet.
Tenna Draper said…
I have a friend who had his dog put down recently. He said it was a very remarkable experience--because they gave him the chance to say goodbye to his pet one last time...

But I can't do that. I've done it, just to end my best friend's suffering, but it surely wasn't an easy thing to do, and I cried for days after just missing her--I'd see her ball in the yard, or the pile of dirt left from where we buried her--the shadows would be in just the right places as to look like she was simply laying there on top of the mound, and you did a double take and sure enough--they never do leave your side, you know--even after they're gone from this world--they follow you into the next.
MSMom said…
Barb- We are thinking of you here in Va. It's hard losing a member of the family
Ann in NJ said…
I hope she does go easily on her own, though it probably won't be any easier for you. We had an elderly cat that we had to put down in December, and while she had been reclusive for years, it was still very hard. Focus on the good memories, and remember that in many cultures, birth and death are opposites, life encompasses both ends of the experience. Prayers for you and your family.
LaDonna said…
Oh, Barb, sweetie. I'm thinking about you and sending hugs for both you and poor Sydney.
Becca said…
oh i'm so sorry. I had to take my beloved girlie cat last summer and it was awful
Mike and I are both so sorry to hear about Syd. It is hard to let them go. Our boundless Border licked my hand in the vet's office on the day his time came, something he hadn't done in so long. I realized then how much he'd been hurting. We miss him still, but his spirit lives on in Hell's Shih-tzu.
I'm with you, hon. I might be across an ocean, and then some, but I am there with you. I'll keep Syd in my prayers, I promise.
melissa in tx said…
I've been meaning to write since you left Austin and I got caught up with visitors. It was great to see all the Coopers - we miss you bunches.

So sorry that Sydney is not doing well. Our Beta fish has stopped eating and barely moves - we know his time is near. I know Jared will boo hoo over his fish when it finally passes - we'll all be sad -but I know it will be a lot harder to loose Syd. We'll pray that she goes in peace.
Hugs, Melissa
MadMad said…
Awwww. Big hugs. I'm sorry. I hope Sydney goes peacefully in the night, at home, but I think at a certain point, they're just happy to go, period, so please don't feel guilty if it's not the setting you'd prefer. As long as you're there, I'm sure it will be home enough.
annabanana said…
Oh poop...I am so sad for you about sweet Sydney. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers...
Jolly Roger said…
I am so, so sorry. Losing our dogs (Bonnie and Clyde) 4 years ago STILL chokes me up. In fact, I still have the family portrait (with them in it, of course) not 4 feet away. I'm thinking of you -
Old Crone said…
Oh Barb...

I'm so sorry about Sydney. I know how you feel so much, having just put my beloved Oscar to sleep 3 weeks ago. There is no easy way out of this I'm afraid.

Don't be afraid to take Syd if you have too. Vets for the most part are kind people. When I took Oscar, cried the entire way there, broke down cried in the waiting room, then held him as he went.

Now...I know I did what was best for him and for me. I have total peace around it, and even though I miss him daily, I am peaceful about it.

I'm not saying to do it my way by any means, I'm just saying, do it in the way you can live with and feel peaceful about in the end.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers as will Syd and your family. I'm just so sorry.
Ei said…
I'm sorry I've checked out when things have been hard for you. I've been a little sad myself and lost my words, a little bit this summer. It is wonderful that Syd has had a life in which she is loved so fiercely, and that she will be escorted to the great beyond with dignity and reverence. It doesn't heal any of your pain, I know, but it is true. Hugs.
Pixie said…
(hug) I'm so sorry to hear about Syd's issues and know just what you are feeling.

Sometimes the hardest, and most heartbreaking, decision to make for our pets is the final way to show them how much we care...