Well, Huh.

We're back in Austin.

Coming back was much harder than I thought it was going to be. I mean, I'd anticipated that the kids would be upset. I was really worried that coming back might undo all of the progress we've made toward adjusting to our new life in New York.

Of course, because this is always how things work for me, the kids were fine. FINE, I tell you. They were really excited to see their friends on our old street, and there was a lot of shrieking and showing each other their lost teeth and jumping up and down.

But your good friend Barb? Started to cry when we crossed the Town Lake Bridge and cried on and off all evening.

And then couldn't sleep.

I don't know why I thought it would be so much easier on me than on my kids. Because I'm a grown up? (Well, theoretically, anyway. Age-wise, certainly.) I guess it's too much to ask that I handle leaving a place I've loved for almost 25 years with non-stop grace and optimism? I was really hoping not to heap more coals of fire on my poor husband's head --he gets enough guilt from our kids. Plus, I'm happy to be on this new adventure. Happy to be living in a climate where one doesn't have to actually worry that much about heat stroke. Happy to find out that everything I've ever heard about New Yorkers was totally false--these are some of the kindest, friendliest people living. Happy to be still living my fairy tale, just thousands of miles away from where it started. Really, it's all good.

But gosh. Coming back is really hard. I have missed Austin, and my friends here, so much. I don't think I actually knew how much until we got here.

I'm a little worn out with it all.

Comments

Ei said…
Hugs Barb.
hokgardner said…
Welcome back. If you have a few minutes to meet for iced tea or yarn fumes while you're here, give me a shout. I'd love to see you.
Jolly Roger said…
Moving is so hard... sorry this hit you out of the blue.

Although I'm in the opposite direction, there is a non-zero possibility of us moving to Austin FROM the great white north. I hope it is as fabulous as you describe!
Amanda said…
Yep, know that feeling. People ask me all the time how much I miss Australia. I don't dwell on it, because I like to be happy in the place I'm living (NJ). But when I go back home? The ache starts up and doesn't go away until I've been back in my other home for a good couple of weeks.
LaDonna said…
Oh, I understand. Our first trip back to Bismarck when we moved to Seattle was aweful. Like you, I spent the whole time crying, but my kids were fine. Funny how we worry so much about our little people and forget ourselves.

Hugs.
I get it! I've scheduled a sudden trip home because I just couldn't stand being away anymore. I hate the timing: I'm going with my daughter which means some private time with my husband is now not going to happen. But I figured that with all the newness of Long Island, I couldn't handle one more new thing. And putting my 3-year-old on a plane by herself will definitely be a new thing. So I'm going with her!
Farm Chick said…
OH my heart goes out to you. I had to move from the land I loved and every time I go back the grief just dang near kills me.

Hugs to you!