I Ab Stubbed UB

I ab sooo stubbed ub. I tink I hab a code.

Okay, so that kind of "impaired" dialogue writing makes me laugh, laugh, laugh. (I don't know what that says about me, really. That I would laugh at someone with a serious speech impediment?) (If you want to read a funny blog written almost entirely in "cold-ese," go read Miss Doxie. Fair warning, though: she could make a sailor blush.) (As an aside to an aside pointing you toward reading someone ELSE'S blog, I just have to comment on how several people in the comments of Ms. Doxie's story of Cookie and the Geetz wrote in to say, "Wow, how long did it take you to write that dialogue?" Those kind of comments always flabbergast me because A) hello, that's what writers DO and B)who reads a blog post thinking, "Wow, I bet this took a long time to write" instead of just enjoying the art of it all? (Would those people read War and Peace and think, "Dude, I bet this took a long damn time to write"?) and C) I forget what "C" was because I am on cold medicine.) (But that's okay, because this is like, the fourth digression in a row so what's one more of me commenting on the comments of someone else's blog?) (A LIFE: I should so GET ONE.)

Anyway, it's either a cold or allergies but I feel terrible.

I'm THRILLED about it! (Well, you know, in a red-eyed, Kleenex-loving kind of way.) Because I really need a sick day. I had to rip out my sweater that I started at Knit Night two weeks ago, because I had done some increases wrong. (Actually, what I'd done wrong had to do with the stitch markers but far be it for me to dwell on something so idiotic for, oh, more than a year or so.) (However, for those of you keeping score at home, I had to make a trip to the yarn store to find out exactly HOW TO USE STITCH MARKERS. I would have done a pictorial for the blog on how I had done them WRONG and how one goes about doing them RIGHT but my brain was all stuffed up and I forgot to take pictures before I ripped out all of that beautiful, beautiful knitting.) A nice long stretch of time to knit would be very welcome right about now.

And plus, I don't feel like eating. Isn't that GREAT? A free day AND a jump start to the old diet! Dudes--I got GAME.

The only downside is that after getting the kids up and dressed, their lunches packed and their shoes on their feet and out to door to school, all I really want to do is lie on the couch and moan a little and listen to the ocean sloshing around in my head.

I tink I hab a FEEBER.

Comments

hokgardner said…
I ab stubbed ub too. But no feeber.

I handed the kids off to Brandon and spent all day Saturday in bed. Yesterday I spent the day on the sofa. Progress is being made.
LaDonna said…
And isn't it funny that no matter how sick we are, Moms are still on the hook to get the kids up, dressed, lunches packed and off to school? My dear hubby has been sick for about week, and love him though I do, when he's sick, his entire world just stops and he sits pathetically in his recliner covered with a blanket, hot tea (that I made for him) in one hand and remote control in the other. Wish my sick days were like his!
Stefanie said…
I think today is just a bad day for everyone. I don't feel sick, I just feel off... and I nearly fell asleep in my French class (which is not good. I think I need to sleep more...)

I hope you feel better and that you knit something fun. :)
Amanda said…
The one thing I like about being stubbed ub is a visit to my local sushi joint. Pile on the wasabi, and feel the sinuses clearing like brush in front of a flamethrower.

I always forget that, un-blocked, I can't hack that much wasabi on my next trip back, and nearly die.

An idiosyncrasy of my particular Australian dialect is how everything but the nasal intonation disappears when my nose is blocked.
Miriam said…
Hobe you feel better.

And you lose fibe pounds on your kick-start sick day!

You are SO funny.
Fannie Mae said…
OMG - may be delurking here to say THANK YOU. Had given up on Miss Doxie and didn't know she was back!

Ahem, and sorry to hear you're under the weather.
DK said…
Dude, that simultaneously sucks and rocks. Quite a feat.

Meanwhile, I'm getting the heck out of here and soaking my laptop in Purell, what with all you sick people around....
Mokihana said…
Oh! Code tog! Wed my kids were liddle wed they had a code, we would all tog id code tog. Eved today, we still do id. I ab so sorry you dode feel good. I do hobe you feel bedder sood. You could rub your chezd with Vigs. Thad bight helb.
Tenna Draper said…
Sorry you're feeling under the weather. I'll lay odds on the allergy--allergic rhinitis is what my do says...that or sinusitis, but I usually have a fever with that--

So take some benedryl and go to sleep, stuff yourself with Ms. Grass chicken soup and mandarin oranges.

Put some Vicks under your nose and around your eyes, and stick your head over a boiling pot with a towel...

If you start to wheeze (chesty), take a hit of albuterol.

And garlic. EAT LOTS OF GARLIC!

The colder, wetter weather in New York can give you Pneumonia.
Marion Gropen said…
I used to think South Texas was the allergy capital of the world. Then I moved to NY. Oy.

As a fellow sufferer, let me share what it took me many, many years to get through my head.

There are no allergen free seasons in NY, but September is the peak. And it's miserable. Claritin works, but the biggest effect comes after you've been taking it for a bunch of days in a row. So start taking some now, and keep going for a bit. It will help (eventually).

Pseudophedrine (in things like Claritin-D and Sudafed) can have some nasty side effects, including making you anxious or jittery.

Your ENT or allergist can prescribe some nasal sprays that really work, unlike some of the OTC stuff. I like the combo of an antihistamine spray (Astelin is good) with a very low-dose cortisone spray (Rhinocort is good).

With all of that on-board, you should sail through colds AND allergies.

Maybe.

Hope you feel better.
Mrs.Q said…
I hobe you are peeling bedder.

(And I'm not mocking you, I'm actually fighting really hard not to feel your pain!)