Today was a really good day.
The puppy slept through the night.
It only rained in the morning.
I got to walk with my friend Donna.
My house is really clean because my mother-in-law is visiting and also, we had an appraiser come by as part of our refinancing so I made sure the house looked really good.
I got to see my spouse in the middle of the day when he brought us all lunch and met with the appraiser.
My younger daughter and I made the best ever mac and cheese (ya'll do not even want to know how many cups of cream and cheese are in it) and she pronounced it, "Perfect!"
I showered before noon.
But I had an unexpected visit from my nemesis today.
This afternoon, my foot started hurting and the more the day wore on, the worse the pain got. Even though I am wearing my orthotics in my running shoes.
And you know what? Just that quickly, I had forgotten what it is like to have that kind of grinding, teeth-clenching, soul-diminishing pain to deal with as a constant.
And just like that? I was back under the Wall of Pain, where the pain is so loud that it's hard to find the goodness in the day.
I have some anti-inflammatory tablets I can take but I've already had a glass of wine so I remembered them too late. The best I can do is to go to bed and pray that tomorrow is better.
I'm pretty sure it will be. I think I just overdid it today between walking and cleaning house.
But it reminded me that some time ago, I resolved not to have gone through this bout with the hopelessness of chronic pain in vain. That I wanted to use my experiences to help others who might be facing the same thing and unable to hear anything over the noise of that pain.
I'm not sure what that looks like or what talents I have that can help but I think I've been called. I was given a reprieve and I feel pretty certain that this is why.
I am listening hard for the "how."