A Day of Extremes

Yesterday was interesting. (Well, to me--some of you may want to just shake your heads and hit "delete" now.)

My mother-in-law left in the morning, early.  While I was waiting for my lovely daughters (Ana (13) and Jane (10)) to get up, I checked in on Facebook (Oh, go on, friend me.  It'll be fun!) and a friend had posted THIS (a site where you sit completely still for two minutes) --which I found nearly impossible to do.  (And if you so much as touch your freaking mouse, the clock starts OVER!  ARGHHHH) and then another friend posted THIS, which is a compilation of the best autocorrect bloopers in June of 2011. (And vastly inappropriate for anyone allergic to profanity or bawdy humor.)  (I, of course, laughed so hard that the dogs came running. Which made me laugh harder.)

So, two minutes of silence and then laughing so hard that I cried.

Extremes, see?

Little did I know that this would set the tone for my whole day.

Then I got the girls all lubed up with sunscreen and fed them breakfast and made their lunches and took them to to their softball camp.  They are both really loving this camp, even though on Wednesday, Jane stepped on a bee (she was barefoot because she couldn't resist running through the sprinklers. Which...

...IS just so JANE.)

Anyway, then I cleaned house for a while, and threw the ball for the dogs, and then I decided to wash my car in the driveway, using the old-fashioned method of Dawn dishwashing detergent and a hose.  I mean, I haven't washed my car by hand since we moved here because of the FULF and the lack of a spigot out front.  But I had a long hose and it was a gorgeous day and I figured why PAY for a mediocre car wash when I can get that at home for free?

Look how shiny!  (But, you know, don't look too closely...)

So, then I came back inside and I looked at the harvest of carrots (which are awfully cute, but unfortunately, taste like a combination of dirt and old sweat socks)

and it was clear that there was only one thing to be done with them:

"Avast there, Matey!"
Alternate caption: "Come back here and I"ll head-butt you to death!"

(Yes, those are blank CDs and some rolled up socks behind the Pirate Carrot.  Because my family WILL use the kitchen island as the repository for All Things Random. No, that doesn't make me crazy.  Not one little bit.  This twitch was caused by OTHER things.)

Then I did some gardening and got bitten by mosquitoes TWICE on my face. Which was annoying. Also, I watched a chipmunk run out of the vegetable garden at full speed.

!!!!

Just stay the heck out of my veggies, chipmunk, or I will revoke the Cat Curfew!  (Every day, we keep our cats inside from 4:00PM until 9:00AM in an effort to cut down on the rodent carnage wrought by the Orange Pride. You cannot even begin to imagine the language my cats use when they realize they are once again shut in for the night.)

I came inside, showered and scrubbed the upstairs bathrooms (a task I hate almost as much as I enjoy nice clean bathrooms...) and got dressed in grown-up clothes --no yoga pants for me today!  I even wore make-up!  I felt efficient and on top of the world.

Seriously, I was in a kind of SCARY good mood.  In my clean car, in my clean clothes, I went to pick up my daughters at 3:00.

Ana had been awarded Camper of the Day--which was awesome --and she wanted a smoothie so we went to the smoothie shop.  But Jane doesn't like smoothies so then we went to TCBY.  En route, Ana shook her drink to loosen it up and sprayed me with sticky chocolate smoothie.

I was not happy.

Then, in the TCBY parking lot, my new sandal broke.

And there, see: instant bad mood. High to low in an instant. Extreme.

(Ana: "You're ominously silent all of a sudden.")

We came inside the house and I put everyone's stuff away and then I decided to bake bread.  Only I didn't have quite enough yeast.  So I thought I'd go back out, try to return my shoes at TJ Maxx, and buy yeast. Ana came with me.

The people at TJ Maxx wouldn't let me return my shoes because I didn't have any proof that I bought them there. (I do see their point and the manager was as nice as she could be. But it made me sad that we live in a world where they couldn't take the word of a customer. I will call the credit card company and see if they have a copy of the receipt.)

We left and dashed into Trader Joe's, which is next door, to pick up some yeast.

Only, apparently yeast is considered a seasonal item at our local Trader Joe's and is only carried around the holidays.

I KNOW!  I just...

I...

Well...okay, then.

We bought chocolate.

We left and as we were walking across the parking lot, I heard someone trying to start his car and getting the horrible clicking sound that heralds a dead battery. I've been having some similar issues with the van (and am now carrying around a new battery in the trunk of my car, just waiting to be installed.  If my car goes dead, I can jump start it BY MYSELF!) so I recognized that sound immediately.

I looked at Ana.  "We have to, " she said.  So we jump-started the car for this elderly couple, who accused us of clairvoyance.  (I am a whiz at jump-starting cars and during my hey-day, I could do the entire process in under a minute.  In college, I had a 1978 Audi Fox --it was pretty much the only way I could start that car.) (For my 18th birthday, my brother-in-law gave me a set of super heavy duty industrial jumper cables. I still have them.) Anyway, we helped them and then we felt very happy to have made THEM happy.

At home, I finished the bread up and it came out...completely perfect.  Seriously, it was the most gorgeous bread I've ever baked.  Look! (Click to embiggen all of the yeasty goodness.)

I was really excited about it until I tasted it and realized that I'd forgotten to add salt.

ARGHHHHHH.

High to low--in a matter of seconds.

Extremes all day.

I don't think yesterday was all that unique in its highs and lows, actually. But I think my responses were all over the map, which was kind of exhausting. I think one reason I am off of my even keel is that my yoga instructor is on vacation this week and I haven't had the discipline to practice at home, nor the time to find an alternative class. I don't have my Yoga Calm (TM) and I'm really missing it. I realize how much a part of my life it has become --how breathing through annoyance has become my default coping mechanism.

I better make time for yoga tomorrow or chipmunks everywhere will tremble at the sound of my name.