Irony

Monday, December 26, 2011

This morning, my husband went on a bike ride.  It's very cold out and windy and he really didn't want to go, but he made himself because he knew it would further his fitness, and that he would feel better afterward.

It is in that same spirit that I decided NOT to go to yoga this morning.

I know, what?

I've been on something of a yoga binge --pushing my body in a more advanced class, taking multiple classes in one day, occasionally dropping to the ground to do a headstand in my bedroom.  (It's the latest thing I've learned to do! It's super cool!  I can hold it for minutes without crashing!)

(I mean, you'd do that, too, right?)

(RIGHT?)

Anyway, yeah, yoga BINGE is no misnomer.  I just love it so much. I can't get enough.

Except, my body is protesting the excess.  My shoulder hurts, I've got a small strain in my lower right back and a larger strain in my left glute. Nothing serious, but warning signs that I need to throttle back for a bit before I hurt myself and have to take a REAL break from yoga.

The thing is...

Um.

I'm afraid to stop.  (I guess we can just add this to my legion of psychological issues.) I'm AFRAID to go slowly, because what if I'm unable to start again?

I've written about this before, but basically, I think one of the legacies of my chronic pain/immobility adventure is this feeling that if I stop moving, my mobility will be taken away from me.  I fear that every yoga class is my last one, so I have to push harder, go deeper. I can't afford to have a bad practice because what if it's my last one?

Which is flawed thinking on many levels, not the least of which, it's not yogic.  Dharma Mittra himself says, "Do all postures very slowly, without pain or straining. [...] Do not overhold any posture. Break posture whenever it becomes uncomfortable." It's supposed to be about achieving a meditative state naturally; the union of the mind and body.

Which is not the way *I* approach ANYTHING, really.

So, today was a big step for me. A chance to practice what I preach to my daughters about listening to their bodies and practicing moderation and how life is a marathon, and not a sprint.

It didn't stop me from doing THIS in my bedroom, but I don't think you can blame me for THAT.

Comments

Becca said…
You have a fireplace in your bedroom? How cool is that? Anyway, back to the post. Good for you. You need to work on trusting your body. It has let you down but if you treat it well it will respond in kind.
I love doing the headstand, too. Shoulderstands, however, I can do without. I always feel as though I am suffocating.
Bullwinkle said…
:) great headstand... /goes off to play ...

Didn't someone once say something about love being like a fire - first the kindling, fanning the spark, then giant blaze and flare up and grandually calmly to embers that heat and last longer than initial flare?
Eileen Jackson said…
You make me feel like such a slug. :P Love you Barb.
Lisa said…
Think of moderation as mental yoga.
shaatzie said…
"Do all postures very slowly, without pain or straining. [...] Do not overhold any posture. Break posture whenever it becomes uncomfortable." It's supposed to be about achieving a meditative state naturally; the union of the mind and body.

Terrific advice for all of the type A's in this world.
I'm copying it onto my computer to remind myself that this is a recipe for not only yoga, but for life.

Thank you for sharing this with me!
We have a friend in common, a very dear friend, named Joan. She gave me the link to your blog, and I think we actually met in Ackumal!
Karen said…
If I tried to stand on my head I'd pass out. Sometimes you need to take a break.
Sheila said…
Barb, you make me laugh every time I've ever popped in to read your adventures. You're such a good writer! You just visited my neck of the woods- Looks like you had a great time in the Bay Area. Did you swing by Bluebird Yarns in Sausalito? Cute store. My husband and children ever so patiently went there with me for my birthday recently. Good stuff, there.

I'm so glad to read about your Yoga adventures. You know, I decided to try Yoga last January after something you'd written about it. I had a great teacher - her name was Grace, and I'd leave class feeling really great.
I deeply appreciated giving it a try. Thank you for inspiring me!

BTW, I'm really impressed by your headstand (but have to admit that I don't ever see that in my future... :)

Happy new years. Keep up the great work! Best of luck on your new book in progress!