REALLY struggling. Like, yelling-at-people-in-traffic struggling. Disconnected-with-myself struggling. NOT-WANTING-TO-PRACTICE-YOGA struggling. I don't feel well --I've been eating things that don't agree with me (vegan things, but too much chocolate is too much chocolate, even if it's vegan.) I've been finding myself irritated by people--sort of in general.
That's not me when I am living my truth.
I think I allowed the world to set my agenda there for a while. There were a lot of stressful things that happened all together and I let it derail me. I lost my Yoga practice--the big Y yoga practice --in trying to serve as many people as I could, helping them find their own yoga practices. I lost my breathing, I lost my mindfulness, I lost my meditative nature. I gained some weight and was amazed at how my old thought patterns and self-destructive voice just came roaring back. I lost myself.
I think that's what happens when I'm not living in true alignment with my values.
Well, okay, I don't want to overstate. Let's just say I backslid. I lost some ground. Nothing is gone forever, and the beauty of Yoga is that it meets us where we are, exactly at that moment.
Anyway, I was wallowing around in a bit of despair for while and then, I started, very slowly, gearing up to take myself back.
I got out my Life of a Yogi teacher training manual and reread it.
I'm almost off caffeine again.
I'm mostly off of refined sugar.
And today? Well, today, I was ready to take action.
I talked to a Life Coach, Christy Diane Farr, and am going to begin sessions with her. She's wonderful. I've never done one-on-one coaching with her, but her energy is amazing and very healing for me. She's very direct, she understands exactly who I am, and she calls me on anything that's out of kilter with that. You'd like her.
I bought the ingredients for a one-day juice cleanse. (It's new to me, so if I like it, I'll extend for a three day cleanse.)
And here's what I'm resolving:
- For the next 30 days, I'm going to do my own yoga practice every day. In addition to my teaching, I'm going to do at least five minutes of my own practice every day. I hope this will end up being a full Power Yoga practice every day, but my resolution is just to go to my mat and rediscover my love for my own practice.
- For the next 30 days, I'm going to find at least five minutes per day to sit in stillness, reconnecting with my breath and working on my meditation.
- For the next 30 days, I'm going to play my guitar for at least five minutes every day.
- I'm going to write for at least five minutes every day for the next 30 days.
- I'm going to spend at least five minutes in spiritual study, every day for 30 days.
So, if I do the bare minimum, that's only 25 minutes out of every day. Dudes, 25 minutes! I spend more time than that making lunches for my kids!
I'm inviting you to join me.
Here's what you do: You don't have to do MY list--you probably have a list of your own of things you know need your attention --things that fulfill you and bring you into alignment with your values. Things that center you. Maybe it's knitting or quilting or reading or cooking... find what you love to do that you're neglecting. And then throw in one or two things that you do that further your goals, but that you don't exactly LOVE. Like, I really want to play the guitar. Right now, I'm just very terrible at it. But I am enough of a musician that I KNOW I'm terrible and it kind of hurts me to hear myself practice. I'm bringing my self-discipline to bear here, knowing that if I persevere, I'll be further down the road after 30 days. And then throw something in that feeds your hungry soul --something spiritual. It doesn't have to be religious--it can be wherever you find something bigger than yourself: walks in nature, putting your hands in dirt, walking by the ocean.
I'm going to chronicle my progress--good and bad-- right here on this blog. You can, too.
Want in? It's only 30 days; what have you got to lose?