AND It Doesn't Even Explode!

(I'm going to apologize right here for this blog post. As I was putting the finishing touches on it, I realized that I had written the entire thing as a vehicle for the link to the exploding patio furniture, which I thought was hilarious, in an "I need therapy" sort of way. I sincerely hope I haven't bored anyone to death.)

We've been shopping for patio furniture.

For, um, three years now.

We left our heavy wrought-iron furniture behind when we moved from Texas --it was pretty beat up after ten years pool-side and too heavy to add to the already groaning moving van.  My husband had closed on our house a few weeks before we moved and had bought some cheap outdoor chairs to use while he waited for us to join him. Those became our outdoor furniture.

For the next three years.

Here's a tiny video of what it looked like.  (On April 1 of this year.  When it was snowing.) (Not that I'm still bitter or anything.)

Every year, we'd think about buying new patio furniture but something always happened.  The first year, we had just moved in and I was busy buying things like, couches and dining room chairs and rugs and stuff.  The second year, we had a new puppy and we went to Europe, which took all available cash.  The third year, the FULF had me laid up and by the time I awakened from my 100-year slumber, all patio furniture was already sold out in the stores.  Seriously, the season up here apparently ends on July 1st.

THIS year, I really wanted to buy new patio furniture.  We spend so much time outside in this glorious weather and I wanted to sit in a chair that didn't threaten to drip rusty water on my shoes.

I asked my Facebook clan what they recommended and we had some debate about wrought iron vs. cast aluminum.  I kind of wanted wrought iron because I don't really ever want to buy patio furniture again. But all wrought iron furniture looks like it's vintage to me, and I'm kind of a modern girl so I couldn't find anything I liked.

I took the girls with me to check out what was still available at Home Depot.
Ana, prepared to duck and roll in the event of explosion.

Unfortunately, Home Depot was completely sold out of dining sets. We toyed with just buying a conversation pit, because it really was offered at a huge savings. Unfortunately, it's from the Martha Stewart Living collection and...well... had the potential of exploding.

I would be very put out if I'd spent all this time shopping for just the right patio set and it exploded.

So, we went with the non-exploding one that we found at a store that turned out to be owned by a couple who lives in our neighborhood, Genealogie Home and Garden.  I highly recommend them--they delivered for free and threw in the umbrella for good measure. Only, as it turns out, I had already bought a giant red umbrella at The Christmas Store, which is a store that has nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas. (I'm still in my red phase.)

(Okay, okay, so, as has been the theme of my summer, I bought the umbrella and it didn't fit the old table and I couldn't take it back because I had thrown away the receipt accidentally. I am challenged in so many ways--this is just one of them.)

So, here it is:
Now all our yard needs is a giant metal chicken and we're good to go.
Here's Jane, sitting at the new table and attempting to liven this blog post up with her outfit:
It's complicated.


smalltownme said…
I had a table explode once. Of course it was our fault as we put a hot hibachi on it!
Unknown said…
well, giant roosters are all the rage this year.
Ann in NJ said…
Can I say that I love that the Gawker article has comments that explain why the tables explode? With video, no less! As an engineer in that field (in my previous life), I greatly appreciate those who educate the public.
Ann in NJ said…
Oh, and I'm a pretty modern girl, too, but I have wrought iron. 12 years, a touch of rust, but that's it.
Ei said…
Ron Zappolo...another reason I miss Denver.

Nice set, cute girls...LOVE the red umbrella. And what the hell IS The Christmas Store, then?
absolutelytrue said…
Congrats on the non-exploding furniture purchase! It looks really nice and I do love the red umbrella. I have needed patio furniture for.. oooh.. about 10 years now. You may have just inspired me to go look again - just not at K-Mart.
Katie said…
A giant, vintage, exploding rooster would add such charm and excitement to your outdoor living room. I think I have seen them on Martha Stewart online.
Lane Aldridge said…
"...Nancy now believes the table is unsafe...." LOL!
Susan said…
Love the umbrella - it casts a nice glow.

My aluminum set from Target has done really well these past 9 years.