I know I am strange.
But, um, I think we have appliances in this house that are out to get me. No, seriously.
It's not just the Polaris, otherwise known as the pool sweeper. Our Polaris has some sort of sixth sense --well, I'm not really sure if Polarises have senses, exactly, but this one has some extra little radar that lets it know when I'm standing outside and not wearing waterproof shoes. I could be standing on the screened-in porch, and the dang thing manages to spray me with water. This is not just MY persecution complex--honestly! Other people have remarked on it as well. In fact, it's become such an accepted thing that now when one of us returns from doing something in the yard or some sort of pool maintenance and we're soaking wet? Someone will say, "I guess the Polaris won again, huh?"
Recently, our coffee maker developed a short in its on/off switch. Despite the fact that it's one of those programmable ones that tells the time, has an automatic shut-off (always a good idea when dealing with the absent-minded Coopers) etc., we were down to plugging it in when we wanted it on and unplugging it when we wanted it off. Finally, I just gave it away to Goodwill and got out the old one, from which I had upgraded, or so I thought.
But I wasn't even talking about that. THIS is truly kind of spooky.
My husband bought a new five-disc DVD/CD player earlier this year and it's, well... it's ALIVE.
It can turn itself on! And if you're watching a movie, sometimes it will stop and go into something called "party mode." I don't know what that means but don't you think that's ominous? I mean, especially since it will happen even on a school night when there are no parties happening?
One night, as I was doing my usual insomnia rounds, I heard this very scary bump, bump, bump coming from the living room. Given that our best form of defense is Scout, who frequently sleeps deeply if he's had enough exercise, I approached the living room with an umbrella held at "ready."
But no, it was just the DVD player trying to open against a closed cabinet door.
I'm just not sure if this means that we've got ghosts with serious night time entertainment needs, or whether our house is so boring, even the appliances are trying to stir up some excitement.
You know what would be hilarious? I should take the DVD player out by the pool and plug it in. Maybe set up some kind of time lapse photography (since I sat in front of the dang thing with a video camera periodically all day trying to capture its weird power on tape so that you could see I wasn't making it up.) Dudes, it would be the battle of the possesed appliances--only one can survive!
I'm betting on the Polaris. My shoes are STILL wet.