Tagging Myself Again (for Tiffany)

Tiff thinks it's funny that I continually tag myself. Of course, what she thinks is FUNNY, some people might call PATHETIC but you do what you have to do to amuse yourself when your mom is visiting and making you throw stuff out. Bless her and pray for me.

My uncle once: had the hiccups for over a year.
Never in my life: dropped acid, committed murder, voted Republican
When I was five: I was more like Jane Cooper than I am today
High School was: nothing at all like the musical
I will never forget: New Years Eve 1999
I once met: Ann Richards when she was Governor of Texas and signed some anti-hunger legislation with which I was involved.
There’s this girl I know who: might be pretty darn cranky when she gets home today and finds a lot of her plastic junk missing from her newly decluttered room.
Once, at a bar: I got on the stage and tried to shinny up the pole. (It was THAT kind of a bar.)
By noon, I’m usually: wishing I had used my morning time more wisely
Last night: I dreamed that I could not curl my hair using a curling iron. This, despite the fact that I have very curly hair naturally in real life. I do not know what it means but I feel like if I could unlock the meaning, I would know the secret to life itself.
If I only had: more patience and less anxiety, I would feel better about my parenting.
Next time I go to church: it will probably be to teach the Girl Scouts more about knitting
Terry Schiavo: my idea of hell on Earth
What worries me most: that I am really messing up these perfect humans who were entrusted to my care and nurture
When I turn my head left, I see: the leaves covering the deck through a large French door.
When I turn my head right, I see: my kids' artwork from last year hanging on a string with clothespins.
What I miss most about the eighties: The uncrowded streets of Austin and my metabolism.
If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: Kate, from The Taming of a Shrew
By this time next year: I hope I will be fitter and stronger, that my family will be happy and well-adjusted and that we will all be loving our life in the state of New York.
A better name for me would be: Well, just about anything, really. I've never really liked Barbara.
I have a hard time understanding: pedophilia, hate crimes, bigotry and mosquitoes
If I ever go back to school I’ll: probably not have any study skills this time, either.
You know I like you if: ask you over for dinner or a glass of wine.
If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: Well, it depends on what the award is for. But probably Coop.
Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens and Geraldine Ferraro: could throw a heck of a costume party
Take my advice, never: elope with someone when you're clinically depressed
My ideal breakfast is: Four shots of espresso with sugar and cream and bread, just plain fresh bread.
A song I love, but do not own is: Sam Cook, A Change Is Gonna Come
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: jumping into Barton Springs pool, especially if it's hot outside. Alternately, you could just eat breakfast at Las Manitas.
Tulips, character flaws, microchips and track stars: Things that don't mix well with drugs?
Why won’t people: just chill the hell out?
If you spend the night at my house: you may have a big fat orange kitty sleep with you unless you close your door.
I’d stop my wedding for: the ability to run long distances again
The world could do without: telemarketers and e-mail Spam
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Ewww. I can't think of many things that I would hate more than this. Maybe KILLING a cockroach? Oh, wait, I know! Eloping with someone when I am clinically depressed.
My favorite blonde is: Jane Cooper
Paper clips are more useful than: bending corners of a stack of paper to try to keep it together. (?)
If I do anything well, it’s: procrastinate
And by the way: I'm tagging the usual suspects with this, especially my NaBloPoMo friends...

Comments

O.K. I'll bite. But it will probably take me 3 days to get it posted!
LaDonna said…
I'm glad to see these memes getting more creative. I was getting really sick of answering the same questions over and over again :)
DK said…
Ew! Why is there anything at all about cockroach bellies in there? EW!

Ugh, now you know I'm going to see a cockroach tonight (which is entirely likely, I'm on call at State Hospital). And then I'm going to sit around wondering what in the world could get me to lick his belly.
Ei said…
DK...I could have gone my whole life without thinking about my doctor sitting around and thinking about why she might lick a cockroach, along with the rest of that whole cockroach licking stuff. Now I wonder if she blogs so I can check on this...:)

Married when clinically depressed, on New Years Eve 1999...are you channeling my life or something?
As usual, I am left stunned by your simple, witty wisdom - really.

And let your mother throw the stuff out - picture having to move it cross country and then unpacking it and finding a place for it in the new home. It's not fun. Besides, you'll accumulate lots of new stuff there. Gotta make room for the new, right? (There's a metaphor in there somewhere - if you find it, let me know.)
Mrs.Q said…
I like, so totally miss saying "Gag me with a spoon!" And my leg warmers. They were like, so totally gnarly. It's totally rad that they're coming back.

And Lisa Loeb and Dweezil Zappa did indeed date at one point - I think they also had a cooking show together - but that was over a few years ago.
annabanana said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
annabanana said…
I love this one, so much I did it myself on my blog.

Have I mentioned how much I love reading your blog? I hope the decluttering is going well!