Wow...Just WOW

I guess y'all noticed that I got pretty depressed. I don't mean in that "Dang I Have a Hangnail Blues" kind of way, either. I mean, in that chemically unbalanced, "Why hello, endless-bottomless-downward-DEATH-SPIRAL, how're things?" I wasn't so bad that I couldn't get out of bed or anything, but I pretty much couldn't get off of the couch so you can see where things were heading.

I've written before about battling depression so you would think I would have gotten a clue a little sooner. But that's the insidious thing about depression: It sneaks up on you on little cat feet. I always think, "Well, I'm a little down but really, I'm sure I'll be pulling out of it soon." And my little voice in my head says, "Of course you will, even if you are a big hulking fat LOSER. You're not depressed, you're just FAT and UNHAPPY and oh, did I mention a loser? Because only a LOSER like you would be depressed while living with those amazing children of yours in your good marriage. Boy, you must really be a LOSER to be depressed with all of those blessings surrounding you." And then I think, "Oh, right. I think I'll just count my blessings from over here. On the couch. From which I can't seem to move." "Loser." "But, see, I've kind of had this health--." "Loser." "My dog is--" "Loser." "SHUT--oh, okay. Right."

Anyway, thanks to my friend Laurie, I saw a doctor and got some help and it turns out that I started to feel better at exactly the right time. Because Coop took our little Court Jester to go fishing and turn eight years old and that left our older daughter Ana (10) and me to fend for ourselves.

Dudes.

We.

Had.

The.

Best.

Time.

There was a lot of shopping. Which I don't usually care for (in the same manner I usually don't care for mass murderers) but we even had fun at the MALL (or, as I heard another blogger call it, "the MAUL.") We went to a bookstore. We went to the grocery store. We went to Home Depot. We went to Target. I took her with me to Knit Night on Thursday. We watched movies and HGTV. We worked in the garden and walked in the woods and she showed me her town drawn of sidewalk chalk.
We redecorated her bathroom.
We ate a lot of sushi. There's a rumor that we might have had ice cream for dinner one night, with pizza for dessert. We talked and laughed and cuddled and just honestly had the best time.

I can't remember the last time I had some one-on-one time with Ana like that. And I am sorry for gushing but she is just the greatest kid! Her vocabulary just kills me--we were watching Speed Racer and she commented on the Racer's living room furniture. "Wow, those are some garish colors." (Be still, my writerly heart!) She's so smart and so funny and such a pleasure to have around. She's helpful and loving and truly, a sweet, sweet kid.

I don't know, I guess I'm not describing her very well. But dudes, this long weekend is a memory that I will cherish forever. It gets its own piece of fabric in my Cloak of Blessings.

I'm so glad that I was far enough along on the road out of unhappiness to appreciate it as it was happening, you know? I really am so incredibly blessed.