Random Funny Things

While I was wasting a lot of time trying to figure out how to write about being in pain without actually admitting to it, a lot of funny/joyful things happened.

First things first, though. I have a decorating question. I finished my sea-scape-y kind of painting.

I'm worried that it looks like it has a mold problem. What do you think? Should I just admit that I have no training and not much talent and go buy some art at Home Goods? Be honest. (Gentle, but honest.)


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My husband did some research on dogs and their feet in the snow and decided that Scout needed to wear shoes.

I must confess that my pictures are terrible because I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even aim the camera. Oh. My. Goodness --seriously, it was one of the top ten funniest moments ever. I'm cracking up just thinking about it.





Okay, so I notice that those pictures don't show the really funny part, which was Scout trying to walk without putting his feet down. You'll have to trust me--I was CRYING it was so funny.

Let's just move on from that, shall we? Because I'm sure I made you cry, too, only not in a GOOD way. I'm sorry --who knew that mere words and pictures were sometimes inadequate?

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This morning, Jane said, "Mom? Mom?"

"Never try to take off your shirt and your pants at the same time."

Word.

Word UP.

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Ana (10) has a really good friend named Nina. I luuurve her myself, frankly. I ache with happiness for my quiet elder child, who bubbles right over with silliness and actual GIGGLING when she's around Nina. I love that she has a friend who gets her sense of humor, and still plays imaginative games, and is smart and kind.

Also, I love Nina's MOTHER, whose name, confusingly for people who have HEARD me tell this story, is Anna.

Anna is one of those wordy, literate people who reads and reads and reads and when she speaks, she often sounds like my favorite kind of narrator. I might THINK like a narrator but I can never sound like one. So, Anna says things like, "My husband and I are both short and given to chubbiness. Sometimes I look at Nina [who is tall and thin and beautiful] and I wonder if there's a supermodel somewhere with a fat, hairy kid wondering what the hell happened."

I quite love her already, even though she's not a computer person and you know how I do 95% of my human interaction on the computer because that way no one can tell that I haven't showered and am painfully shy.

A few weeks ago, I made the supreme effort and showered and went with Ana and Nina and Anna into New York City to see the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center on the very last day it was lit. It was bitterly, bitingly cold and we didn't exactly loiter. We ended up going to dinner together at this restaurant that Ana spotted because we had taken my parents there before going to see some Broadway shows. (Doesn't this sound so...glamorous and cultural and cosmopolitan?)

When we came out after dinner and walked back to where we'd parked, Anna's car was gone. Impounded. The City of New York keeps a fleet of tow trucks trolling around looking for people who might have misinterpreted the ridiculously complicated parking signs.

The four of us ended up at the Impound Lot along with as diverse a crowd as I have ever seen, all united in our misery. After a few hours, we got the car (thank goodness) and headed back to Long Island.

Anna turned to me.

"I was thinking that maybe next weekend we could go to jail."