If you are of the Male Persuasion, just be forewarned that today's blog post may cause you a bit of psychic pain. It includes the words Feminine Hygiene and Tampons and Pads (not the apple variety, either) in it. Also, the word LOVE. And some laughter at the expense of a guy. I'm sorry and we all understand if you're skipping this one and going out for coffee.
This morning, I had to take the no-longer-so-tiny Jane (9) back to the doctor, who prescribed antibiotics for what appears to be a lingering sinus infection and also put my fears of pneumonia to rest. On the way home, I went to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled.
Note: I was having a difficult day. I think being cooped up inside with an ill child all week, plus my husband getting the cold and being completely miserable, plus the dead-of-winter Suckiness of All Suckage, plus my complete inability to get anything at all done, EVER, IN MY WHOLE FREAKING LIFE finally got to me.
I dropped off the prescription and sat down next to this enormously pregnant woman and her mother. There was no chatting or anything --the place was a zoo, plus this is NEW YORK where that kind of chatting doesn't happen without an icebreaker. Over in Feminine Hygiene, a kind of scary guy in braids and a black leather jacket seemed to be hanging out. I assumed he was waiting for his prescription.
After about ten minutes, the woman behind the counter came out and approached Scary Guy and said, in a voice that would etch glass, "Do you need some help?"
Scary Guy paused for a minute as if trying to decide if he should just surrender or run like hell.
"Yes, I guess I do." He showed her the list in his hand. "I'm supposed to get this but I...I'm looking...See, it says..." He handed her the list.
"So, on the list, these are TAMPONS and you're here in the PAD section," said the clerk.
"So, now let's walk over here to the TAMPONS and try to find what you're looking for."
They disappeared from view and I, apparently raised by wolves, let out a little giggle.
The pregnant woman looked over. "Man, that boy is in LOVE."
Much nodding from the other woman. "You gotta love that his girlfriend sent him to buy her stuff."
"You gotta love that he actually came to buy it."
"I wish MY boyfriend would do that."
"My husband would rather DIE."
And, y'all, I didn't mean to but I opened my mouth to agree and what came out was, "I wish I had that on video."
And then we all laughed so hard we almost fell out of our chairs.