Marriage and Towels: A Lesson in Gender Differences. Maybe.

My bathroom linen closet

Some background: I have a Thing about towels.  I like big, plush, thick, absorbent towels, and, I do not like towels that are showing wear-and-tear. Even when I was in college and penniless, my towels were always in good shape. It's just a Thing I have.  (I'm a decided person in some areas of my life and one of those areas happens to be towels. I know what I like and I'm actually willing to shop to get it.)  About two years ago, after we moved here, I redid our bathroom colors.  In the past, we had green  and cream colored towels but the green towels were starting to fray.  I kept trying to put them in the dog towel bin but then I'd forget and they'd end back up in the linen closet and then it would strike me that I was using a towel that I had used on the DOGS and the cycle would start again.  So, I went completely out of my mind, ordered dark brown and light BLUE towels and that's what we've been using.

More background: My husband is an impeccable dresser and a phenomenal bargain shopper when it comes to clothes.  This year, his work has kept him so busy that he hasn't been able to really take advantage of the end-of-season sales. (Y'all, it's All Bathing Suits, All The Time in the stores despite the fact that it's still in the 50's here during the day and in the 30's at night.  I guess by the time we have to turn the air conditioner on, there will be nothing but parkas in the stores.)

(But I digress.)

(Shocker.)

Anyway, Coop has been doing some sale shopping on-line and on Saturday, a package arrived from Ralph Lauren.  In it was a gorgeous sweater (green, less than half price), a few other shirts and...a towel.

A lone green towel.

I looked at him.

"I bought a towel."

"You bought a towel?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you buy a towel?"

"I wanted a green towel."

"So, you bought ONE green towel?"

"Well, I didn't want to presume to buy towels for the house or anything, but I wanted a green towel."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal.  It's just one towel."

"It's much more than one towel.  Now we have to change the colors of the bathroom so that we match."

"No, we don't.  We'll just have one green towel."

"You can't have just one green towel."

And a bit later, I said, "I can't believe you bought ONE towel.  Do you know, I don't think I've ever bought ONE towel in my entire LIFE?  I mean, you need hand-towels that match and you need at least a matched set..."

"Look," he said.  "I'm a simple person.  There are a few things I like to have and one of them is a green towel."

"You always say that, but you are NOT a simple person and your list of things you have to have is longer than a few items.  But that's beside the point. *I* would have bought green towels had I known of your obsession.  But I wouldn't have bought just ONE OF THEM."

"I have always had a green towel.  Ever since you've known me, I have had a green towel."

"That is just NOT true.  When I met you, your towels were blue and gray, and all frayed and gross.  I BOUGHT you your first green towels."

"Oh.  Well, I LIKE green towels."

"So, you bought ONE.  One lone towel, just for yourself."

"I can send you the link if you want to buy some more.  It was on sale."

"Okay, so now I guess we'll have green towels again."

"I didn't want to make a decision for you or the bathroom.  I just wanted a green towel."

"So you bought one.  One."

"Yes...?"

So, I don't know what any of this means.  We totally do not see each other's side of this issue. It isn't like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus...it's more like men are from some small planet that only THEY inhabit.  (And all the towels are green.) I feel like if I could get to the bottom of it, I would totally understand the difference between how men and women think.

(Lest you think I could let this golden opportunity to tease my spouse pass, though, later that afternoon, I suggested he wash the dogs since it was such a beautiful day.  I promised him green dog towels.)