Tapping Into My Jeans

While I was just hanging out, suffering through this cold, I got interested in this blog called PastaQueen.com. The Pasta Queen, aka Jennette Fulda, is a young woman who once weighed 372 pounds and lost literally half of herself over two-plus-some-change years. I read her entire archives because I got sort of invested in her. I like her writing voice. I like her approach to everything from weight-loss to life. I like that she's a smart woman. And now I'm concerned about her because she's had a headache for over a year. The same headache. For more than one year.

Which is chronic pain, right? I know a little something about that but dudes, I think hers is worse. I mean, I could get off of my foot and almost stop the pain. What do you do with a chronic headache?

(Confession: I sent her an idea to explore in trying to find a cure for her headache even though she basically threatens to file a restraining order on people who keep suggesting stuff. But I hadn't heard anyone suggest this (and she's compiled quite a list of the things that people have suggested) so I sent her a note telling her about how poor eye-hand coordination, plus slow reading, plus headaches sometimes equals a visual tracking issue (like where your eyes don't move at the same speed or focus at the same speed, for example) and can sometimes be remedied by vision therapy. Vision therapy is something that hasn't made it into the mainstream here in the US but in other countries, there has been a lot of research and acceptance of the practice. So I sent her that idea and I'm sure she hates me now and has blocked my IP address from ever contacting her again.)

Anyway, I digress. (Imagine!) Basically, every challenge that has been set before the Pasta Queen, I can sort of relate to on a smaller scale. She has a dysfunctional relationship with food (check), she has strange feet (check--I might have her trumped in this instance), she has weight to lose (check), she deals with chronic pain (check --although I am hoping that might soon be nearing an end. My orthotics can be picked up next week!), she can't keep Kashi Go Lean cereal in the house (check), she uses the word "y'all"--we could be twins. Except that I'm old enough to be her mother. And she's single. And mathy. And tall.

BUT ANYWAY, I'm rooting for her.

Plus, she made me think. I went looking for "motivation" to start my diet an I found this. Which made me, um, feel incredibly stupid and smack my head hard like a V-8 commercial. I mean, how common sense is it to say, "dude, motivation may or may not come. What you need is DISCIPLINE."?

Oh.

I just honestly never thought of that before. I seriously thought that I would be hit by a bolt of energy thus revealing to me that it is TIME TO START MY COMEBACK and you wouldn't have been able to drag me off of the exercise equipment.

Um, I don't think it's going to happen.

Get off the couch, Barb and DO SOMETHING. Use that German discipline for something besides keeping up with the laundry. The motivation will take care of itself. Find the DISCIPLINE you need to go forward.

So, the Pasta Queen has this great picture of herself on the cover of her book (I KNOW, a blogger who got a book deal! We could be twins except...well... Sigh.) standing in one leg of her fat pants.

I am WEARING my fat pants.

But see these jeans? These jeans are my all time favorite jeans ever. Size 8, J. Crew, button fly. I bought them when Coop and I were dating and dudes, if jeans could talk, these jeans could write an entire BOOK of fun memories and falling in love and feeling at home in my skin. (How much do you want to bet that my JEANS get a book deal before I do?) I loved them so much that I couldn't get rid of them, even when we packed up our entire house and moved to New York and I got rid of darn near everything else.

Oddly enough, I remember the last time I wore them. It was my 35th birthday party. Two days later I found out I was pregnant with Jane and I never got in shape enough to wear them again.

Well, I just turned 44. I would like to wear them again for my 45th birthday party.

This may not be feasible or realistic but that's my goal. I can always adjust as I get closer to the day. I think I have about 30 pounds to lose and an entire body of muscle to rediscover. Seriously, I'm not sure even my fingers have any muscle tone. I've been on the couch for most of two years.

So, we'll see. I've already started the food reduction plan, but I will probably follow some sort of plan like Jennette did when I start my official exercise program next week, upon receipt of my orthotics. I promise not to turn this blog into a weight-loss blog but I WILL post updates periodically if y'all are interested. Maybe I'll back date them or something.

I'm off to do some sit-ups!