Random Funny Things

While I was wasting a lot of time trying to figure out how to write about being in pain without actually admitting to it, a lot of funny/joyful things happened.

First things first, though. I have a decorating question. I finished my sea-scape-y kind of painting.

I'm worried that it looks like it has a mold problem. What do you think? Should I just admit that I have no training and not much talent and go buy some art at Home Goods? Be honest. (Gentle, but honest.)

My husband did some research on dogs and their feet in the snow and decided that Scout needed to wear shoes.

I must confess that my pictures are terrible because I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even aim the camera. Oh. My. Goodness --seriously, it was one of the top ten funniest moments ever. I'm cracking up just thinking about it.

Okay, so I notice that those pictures don't show the really funny part, which was Scout trying to walk without putting his feet down. You'll have to trust me--I was CRYING it was so funny.

Let's just move on from that, shall we? Because I'm sure I made you cry, too, only not in a GOOD way. I'm sorry --who knew that mere words and pictures were sometimes inadequate?

This morning, Jane said, "Mom? Mom?"

"Never try to take off your shirt and your pants at the same time."


Word UP.


Ana (10) has a really good friend named Nina. I luuurve her myself, frankly. I ache with happiness for my quiet elder child, who bubbles right over with silliness and actual GIGGLING when she's around Nina. I love that she has a friend who gets her sense of humor, and still plays imaginative games, and is smart and kind.

Also, I love Nina's MOTHER, whose name, confusingly for people who have HEARD me tell this story, is Anna.

Anna is one of those wordy, literate people who reads and reads and reads and when she speaks, she often sounds like my favorite kind of narrator. I might THINK like a narrator but I can never sound like one. So, Anna says things like, "My husband and I are both short and given to chubbiness. Sometimes I look at Nina [who is tall and thin and beautiful] and I wonder if there's a supermodel somewhere with a fat, hairy kid wondering what the hell happened."

I quite love her already, even though she's not a computer person and you know how I do 95% of my human interaction on the computer because that way no one can tell that I haven't showered and am painfully shy.

A few weeks ago, I made the supreme effort and showered and went with Ana and Nina and Anna into New York City to see the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center on the very last day it was lit. It was bitterly, bitingly cold and we didn't exactly loiter. We ended up going to dinner together at this restaurant that Ana spotted because we had taken my parents there before going to see some Broadway shows. (Doesn't this sound so...glamorous and cultural and cosmopolitan?)

When we came out after dinner and walked back to where we'd parked, Anna's car was gone. Impounded. The City of New York keeps a fleet of tow trucks trolling around looking for people who might have misinterpreted the ridiculously complicated parking signs.

The four of us ended up at the Impound Lot along with as diverse a crowd as I have ever seen, all united in our misery. After a few hours, we got the car (thank goodness) and headed back to Long Island.

Anna turned to me.

"I was thinking that maybe next weekend we could go to jail."


Tiny Tyrant said…
Hehe. Thank you for your 'de'-lurking post on my blog.

Scout is too funny. How fast can he get them off (Cliff the Mutt about 2 seconds of seriously hilarious multi foot shaking)?

Your friend Anna sounds like a blast.

Let me know if you guys need bail money next weekend.
Tiny Tyrant said…
Oh hey. Like the painting truly.

But you might want to make the green parts in the water a little more grey, not due to a mold issue, but because it just seems weird to little miss OCD here (That would be me).

But that's just me and I cannot paint a flip, while you can.
Georgi said…
I think Anna sounds like th ekind of person who would be fun to know. And how many people do you know that can take to side trips to the Impound Lot on a trip to the city?
I like Scout's shoes, but I think I am way too lazy to use them for my dog. :-)
hokgardner said…
I love the painting. I've often thought of creating my own works of "art" but I wouldn't even know where to begin - like even what kind of canvas and paints to buy.

And I love Anna already.
Candy said…
You worked on the painting. You hung it up. Sounds like art to me.

LOL about the dog. Shoes? Um. k.
Unknown said…
hahahah scout looks so funny. i really don't think he needs the boots unless he is spending hours outside or running on ice for long stretches...

I like your art but maybe it needs something in the foreground..like make it multi-media and glue some sea grasses on it like you are looking out over a dune?
jen said…
Thank you for making me laugh out loud.

And I like the painting.
Anonymous said…
you could put Musher's wax (available in good pet stores) on poor scout's feet rather than shoes. My dog's paws used to crack from the salt until we started using Musher's wax. Welcome to snow country Scout!
Ann in NJ said…
Poor Scout - life conspires against him, doesn't it? It's just all too HARD!

Isn't it lovely when the parents of our children's friends become our friends? Anyone who can take having their car impounded with a sense of humour is a keeper.

(And I like the painting - doesn't look moldy to me!)
Have mercy on us - in future posts, refer to her as "A." Otherwise, things get very confusing.
Squirrel said…
Those photos of Scout are hilarious. I'm glad you're still finding things to laugh about and enjoy even when you are in pain. I went through a difficult time with endometriosis a couple of years ago and I'm STILL glad I forced myself not think too much about ME during that time...it's what kept me sane. I know you're dreading surgery, but at least you will be taking action! Good luck...
MadMad said…
Sounds like Anna is worth showering for!

Oh, dear. That doesn't sound quite right...
MadMad said…
Sounds like Anna is worth showering for!

Oh, dear. That doesn't sound quite right...
Anonymous said…
This post is great on so many levels that it has rendered me a giggling fool. The sight of your dog in boots had me cracking up. And then the story of Anna - I want to hang with you guys in NY. I figure there's no risk since I would take the train in....
Marion Gropen said…
LOL, the boots, the jail -- this one's a keeper.
Ei said…
Scout...in shoes...snort...hahahaha.

I like your artwork and YAY on a new friend with whom you go to jail. I'd love to go to jail with you any ol' day.

Jane (sigh) oh the visuals.

Barb I miss you.
Mary Ellen said…
I have so much to comment on...

I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Chronic pain sucks. I hope your doctor can make this better for you.

I like the painting. You created something. Sign it, hang it up, point it out to everybody. Be proud!

My sled dogs don't wear boots unless they're running on the kind of snow that creates iceballs in the pads of their feet. If Scout is licking his feet after being outside, you should just check to see if there are any fissures or tiny cracks in the pads. If not, unless you're worried about toxins from snow-melting-stuff, I'd let him go without. Unless you're doing it for your amusement, in which case, I say put them on him every time. Laughter releases endorphins, which are natural painkillers.

And that quote about the supermodel and the fat, hairy kid? Funniest thing I ever heard.
Karen said…
I vote keep the painting up as is - I really like it a lot! (and I embiggened the picture first just to be sure.)

And there are a few YouTubes of dogs walking for the first time in boots, so I can TOTALLY imagine Scout. I haven't put boots on my two pups but may try it just for the laughter - like Mary Ellen said, it's so good to laugh that hard!
Mrs.Q said…
If I'd been drinking while reading, I would totally have spewed it all over my screen.

You are hilarious. I can see that you and Anna are going to get into a lot of trouble together. I look forward to reading more!
Mrs.Q said…
(Oh, and the painting? Way cool. I would never have the cajones to display any of my art like that. Then again, I can't even do decent stick people. I love the colours. I vote you keep it up.)

(Not, you know, that I have cajones. But if I did.)
Stefanie said…
So, so funny. Suddenly, I feel like trying to take my pants and shirt off at the same time just to see what happens!

And by the way, I think your painting is lovely. Though I would like to point out that it's missing it's mandatory beach umbrella.
ktb38 said…
I love the painting! Poor scout. I put those snow shoes on my dog and its one of the funniest things ever. She doesn't seem to think so.
I like the painting. And your tale of the city (reminding me of when my car was clamped in London). On the painting, you might try visualizing it in black and white for awhile. Quilters say that "value does all the work and color gets all the credit".
Mokihana said…
I really like the painting, Barb... and since I'm an ocean/island girl, I think my opinion is extremely accurate. Hahahahaha... sometimes I drive myself crazy with the stuff I write.

I woulda been laughing at Scout too. Time for a video, methinks.

And Anna (and you) are my kind of people!
LaDonna said…
OK, I am loving your friend Anna!

Hmmm...on the shoes for Scout. How much time does he spend outside? I know it's colder here than out there and I've never put shoes on my dog, but she only goes out long enough to do her duty and then she's at the door yelling to be let in. (I can only describe that type of bark as yelling...you have to hear it, but I feel like I've been scolded every time she does it!)

The art...you know, I like it. I'd leave it up and see if it grows on you. Sometimes you have to see something in a space for awhile before you know if it really works. I think it does!
Katie said…
Wow! ....that was a funny post. Love the doggie boots and the painting and well all of it.

SO I gave you an award! :)
Anonymous said…
LOL! Your friend is hysterical!!!

I personally love the painting. It looks great! I really like the chair too and it all blends well. I realize I don't sound like a person with a sense of style, but it's my opion. I'd keep it. I think you should sign it.

Miri said…
The painting I like. It's very heathery.

The dog boots I LOVE. ((They're very leathery?)

Someone stop me. But hey, by the way, can I go to jail too?
KnitFloozy said…
thank you for the much needed laugh on a realy bad day....
The painting looks great in the space and in the room. Good job! Painting is something that can be so theraputic and take you away from your pain. You have the desire, you should take a local class and see where it takes you. It's my profession and my passion so I'm always trying to get new recruits! Good Luck and I want to see more.