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I am totally CRANKY



My blog got an "R" rating. ME! An R rating. For this:

"This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

rape (5x) pain (3x) hell (2x) shoot (1x)"

Apparently, you can't say "rape" when talking about a rape trial without getting rated an adult rating. Does no one in this country want to call rape a rape? And since when is "pain" a bad word? I mean, my foot is giving me PAIN--how is that adult matter? Not to mention "hell" and "shoot" --those are bad words?

I guess I should feel flattered in some ways that at least someone thinks I write grown up fare. But mostly I seem to be having my usual reaction to repressive, reactionary, arbitrary authority figures: I'm blowing a really big raspberry.

Click on that Rated R logo if you want to rate your own blog. But just be forewarned that it will not make you happy.
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Anonymous said…
Oh dear, Barb....I'd have to say I rate your blog "R" for "Required Daily Reading." Or perhaps, "Riproaringly Funny," "Riotous," "Rousing," "Reasoned," "Rewarding"...well, you get the idea, I hope. (Really really good.)
July 18, 2007 at 9:08 PM
Barb Matijevich said…
Oh.

Wow.

Um.

Well, you just so totally and completely made my day that I lost any anger I ever had. I'm never going to be able to look at an R rating again without thinking about this lovely, wonderful, incredibly flattering note. I'm sitting here literally beaming at my computer --it's a little embarrassing, actually.

(I hate to ask this but I don't owe you money or anything, do I?)

Thank you (so, so much--I needed a boost tonight and here you are like an angel.)

Barb
July 18, 2007 at 9:58 PM
hokgardner said…
I dunno, I'd wear the R rating as a badge of honor. And I'm resisting the temptation to rate my blog. I don't need to sit and fume!
July 18, 2007 at 10:02 PM
Tiffany said…
Well...RockStories is rated G and my CATHOLIC blog is rated PG-13...I think there may be something a big rudimentary about the system.
July 18, 2007 at 11:39 PM
Lynn said…
I can only imagine what havoc that would wreak in a gardening blog, where the writer would be rhapsodizing about tender shoots springing up from the soil.

I'd agree that this appears to be "a bit rudimentary". And I'm not even the slightest bit tempted to rate my own squeaky-clean blog.
July 19, 2007 at 5:52 AM
Barb Matijevich said…
You know, Lynn, you've given me such a great wonderful, horrible idea. What I SHOULD have done is write an entire piece about the pain of childbirth (c-sections, in my case) and the pain of watching my children grow up into beautiful, nubile young women. And how I keep shooting photos of them so that I won't forget these days. And how I believe that hell is anywhere that God isn't and how I worry about the rape of the environment because it's painful to think that my kids won't get to see some of the wonderful natural sights and be able to shoot pictures of them...

Instead, I have to post something new very quickly, because it's making me wince to see the phrase "pissed off" as part of headline. Maybe I'll change that really quickly. (I dislike off-color language, although I think it serves a purpose now and again.)
July 19, 2007 at 8:23 AM
Anonymous said…
Harsh rating for someone who hates the word "fart". Hee hee.

Check on my blog....the blogHORE!!! got a G rating. Na na na na boo boo....
July 19, 2007 at 9:06 AM
Suna Kendall said…
Yeah, it's pretty simplistic. And one of my blogs is G and one PG! For saying "hurt."

I think the ratings were mostly for humor and to spark conversation, and they seem to have done their job, haven't they?
July 19, 2007 at 9:07 AM
Barb Matijevich said…
I guess the ratings are just on whatever is up on your home page. Because DOOCE--you know the QUEEN of foul language? Got a PG rating. Not that I'm bitter.

And Kathy, I can't BELIEVE you used that "f" word in my comments--that'll probably send me right over the edge into Triple XXX or something!
July 19, 2007 at 9:11 AM
Anonymous said…
Huh. I am definitely doing something wrong. I got a PG, not even a PG-13!! And here I have been thinking that my blog is so cutting edge and all that. Well, that certainly put in my place. Here are the offenders, so you can get kicked up to "X".

* pissed (2x)
* bastards (1x)

And yeah, I think it is ridiculous that those particular words you found would cause a rating like that. Although, I guess the case can be made that we live in a depraved society.
July 19, 2007 at 5:50 PM
Taylor Blue said…
I got in trouble for the pain thing too...how is that adult??
July 19, 2007 at 5:53 PM
Barb Matijevich said…
Obviously, the ratings elves have never seen my daughter feigning extreme pain due to some sort of cosmic shift that "MADE ME STUB MY TOE." A child, mind you. In huge, extreme, dramatic pain. (Only a tad bit of hypochondria in my older daughter. Just a touch. But truly, it's a kid thing. NOT adult.)

Bloggrrl, I can't beleive you got a lower rating than I did. Didn't you write a post about MASTURBATION --er, in the Blog Sense, I mean??

There is no justice.
July 19, 2007 at 6:07 PM
Barb Matijevich said…
I also can't believe I can't spell believe. It's Happy Hour here at Casa Cooper. I'm blaming it on that.
July 19, 2007 at 6:08 PM
Anonymous said…
Woo-hoo, it's wine-thirty! Nope Barb, you don't owe me any money....(although I wish that lots of random people did, sigh) but I feel that I owe you for giving me a smile many times.

And as far as "R" ratings go....I just embarrased the heck (uh-oh, is that a bad one?) out of my 11 year old daughter by screaming swear words at a crazy young female driver who almost ran us down in the grocery store parking lot. I felt it was justified. (Not feeling the love, here tonight!)
July 19, 2007 at 9:01 PM
Anonymous said…
Okee-dokee, my turn to spot the misspelling...uhh, that's "embarrassed"....as in, what I am right now.
July 19, 2007 at 9:04 PM
Barb Matijevich said…
EM! We may be soul sisters seperated at birth--except I'm probably older than you. Last night I had to look up how to spell "embarrassing." Seriously. I typed it and then it just looked really wrong. Needed another "r."

And at THAT point, I was stone sober. So, see, no need for that word which is so hard to spell.

Barb
July 19, 2007 at 10:16 PM
Anonymous said…
Move country then, Scotlan di s a great place or when you really want to stand out as the person who never uses swear words Ireland ;-)

Don't take the comment to much to heart. Automated systems are stupid by default.
July 30, 2007 at 6:32 AM
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