You Have to Laugh

What a difference the sun makes.

I know I detailed some of my bad mood in my last two posts. But I gotta tell you guys--I was starting to worry about my mental health. Seriously, I started to worry if maybe I had something diagnosable, like Sarcastic Shrew Disorder or something. My own mother, she of the "not only is the glass half-empty but it probably has a leak in it" perspective, sent me a note saying, "We did so enjoy our girls; they really are the most wonderful little people. I realize parents get frustrated with even the best and the brightest, but just look around you and count your blessings! Would you actually want marionettes?"

(Note how I exercised all kinds of restraint. I mean, it's pretty easy to criticize when you've just spent three months traveling in Europe but I didn't even go there. Do you know why? Because I totally rule.)

(Well, that and the fact that my parents are going to watch the kids in a few weeks while my husband and I take a little weekend away.)

THIS morning, my older daughter Ana had a full-scale meltdown over having to go to camp. The girls are signed up for a church camp this week from 9:30 until 1:30 every day --yessss. It's a camp where they do a Christian kids' musical but frankly, they could have been going to Satan Worshippers Unlimited, as long as someone else was going to give them a snack and let them get some of their pent-up energy out. Anyway, Ana melted down, complaining that she didn't want to go to camp. She hasn't had any ME time this summer, she said, and she just wanted to stay home.

!


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry to report that I did that voice that Sigourney Weaver does in Ghostbusters when the ghost is inhabiting her body. You know--the one where Bill Murray looks at her and says, "And what a lovely singing voice you must have." Yes, THAT voice.

I said, "If. You. Think. That I am going to have you around this house all week begging me for junk food and television and whining about how bored you are, you are sadly mistaken. GET. IN. THE. CAR."

(There goes that Mother of the Year Award. Oh, right, I lost that months ago.)

So anyway, I took them to the church (First I stopped at the local donut shop and each got a donut. Because I am the meanest mother on Earth, clearly.) and dropped their little hineys off at camp and on the way home, something wonderful and magical happened.

No, not just that I was alone for the first time in, oh, 100 years.

I looked up and there was this round bright yellow...thing in the sky, pushing the humidity up in the 12,000th percentile. Yes, indeedy, the sun came out. It's STILL out. With any luck, my hair might actually DRY today. Alert the media!

Then I went to Physical Therapy and got the truly magnificent incredible news that I could set up my bike on a trainer and get some exercise. The PT cleared this with my doctor and everything! I was so happy that I literally cried all the way home.

Ya'll --I never thought I would be so excited about getting to exercise. But man, I am seriously worried about myself if I don't get some endorphins soon. And I've got to take off some of this weight I've put on since my surgery. YIPPEE!

Not even the fact that I burned my sandwich at lunch lessened my joy. Not even the fact that when I turned on the fan above the stove to get the smoke out of the kitchen, it scared Scout so much that he peed all over the floor lessened my joy. Not even the fact that the kids came home from camp and Ana reported that I hadn't put a spoon in her lunch so all she'd had to eat was a bag of chips lessened my joy.

(By the way, she had a great time and actually received a SOLO to sing in the production.)

There was a moment when I thought the sun was going to go back behind the clouds and it was going to rain when I thought about getting in my car and driving to Mexico. But dude, maybe the sun will come out AGAIN tomorrow! At the very least, my two angels will be back in camp.

Life is sweet.

(But if it rains again tonight, I'll post from an Internet cafe south of the border.)

Comments

Damsel said…
BWAHAHAHAAAA!!! This post is hilarious.

I know what you mean about the sun. We actually lost power for about three hours during last night's storms.

It didn't rain on us today! At all! How about you?
Barb said…
Not one drop! Water, water everywhere but not a single rain drop to hate--HAH! I am tempting fate by putting all my recycling out tonight--I know that. But the odds of me getting it out before 6:30 AM are exactly, um... ZERO.

I'm afraid to check the forecast for tomorrow... At this point, I cannot even shut my back French door because the wood is so swollen from the damp. It doesn't bother me or anything because I know that no self-respecting burglar is going to risk scaring Scout and stepping into a puddle of urine--or WORSE.