Sign of the Impending Apocalypse

Tonight, I was debating my children with regards to Haribo gummy bears.

Now, most of you know that I eat no other kind of gummy bears. And in my lifetime, I have eaten, roughly, 12 bazillion gazillion pounds of them. When I was single, I thought a nice dinner was some chardonnay and some Haribo gummy bears. (Hey, I ate the green ones--what do you want?) They are the ultimate comfort food for me --no doubt because my grandfather used to keep an old (and probably the same old) bag of them for when the grandchildren visited. In fact, I LIKE gummy bears (Haribo) when they are a little tough and stale.

Tonight, I was arguing that I am a connoisseur of them and there is NO DIFFERENCE in the various colors--they have no distinct flavors. So, we did some taste tests, including my mother, who hates them but assured me that I was really and truly WRONG about the flavors not having any relationship to the colors.

So I went on-line to prove how ridiculous and misguided those silly, silly family members are. And I found THIS: Number one of the FAQ at Haribo is this:

What are the flavors of the Haribo Gold-Bears?The white Gold-Bear is Pineapple; the green Gold-Bear is Strawberry; the yellow Gold-Bear is Lemon; the orange Gold-Bear is Orange; and the red Gold-Bear is Raspberry.

Apparently, the bears were reformulated in March of 2006.


This is just... Un-Freaking-Acceptable!

People! Clearly the world is ending. Run and take your Haribo Gold Bears (without the flavoring) with you.

Plus, WTF??? Green equals STRAWBERRY? Those people are SMOKING SOMETHING.


DK said…
Dude...are strawberries green in Japan? Or, um, on Planet Haribo?

This is clearly not a good sign. I agree completely. I'm going out for disaster supplies now....including a stockpile of gummi bears.....
DK said…
Oh, and, I don't care if they claim to be German, the Haribo bears are clearly Japanese. Look at him! He looks like a red, jiggly little Fu Man Chu! (Who may have been Chinese, actually, but, nonetheless.)

Another possible sign of impending doom - my verification word: tmkatzpl. Dude...
hokgardner said…
I, too, love the Haribo and will eat only that brand. I got hooked when we had to sell Gummy Bears and Toblerone chocolate bars for high school French club. What a German candy and Dutch chocolate had to do with French club, I have no idea. But it's what we did.

Anyway, I probably ate more packets of Gummy bears than I sold, and I can say with all confidence - they have always had flavors. I used to pick through and eat all the red ones first. The pineapple-flavored ones were last because they were my least favorite.
Maria said…
LOL! My Grandmother used to send us Gummi Bear from Germany each year and I loved the Clear bears the best with the red ones a close second!
Now, have you ever been able to completely dissolve a Star Burst in your mouth? I haven't.
Barb said…
I just found out that they've always had flavors and just have always had a terrible palate. I can't tell you how many taste tests we did as children. It boggles my mind. I honestly came to the conclusion that they had no color-related flavors.

I feel like the foundation of all that I've known has just crumbled into dust. I might have to give back my "Wine Snob" nickname since clearly, I don't deserve it.
Ei said…
You are so weird. :P