It's Just So WRONG

So, we have this dog named Scout.

Scout is super focused. And he has an enormous desire to please. He's a good runner and a pretty good watch dog, although we suspect this is really because he is scared to death of everything. He's high strung and jumpy --the other day, a leaf fell from one of the trees in the backyard and landed on his back.

He jumped about five feet sideways and UP.

Because that leaf?

Oh. So. Scary.

He's pretty cute. And eager. And enthusiastic. And loud. And clumsy. And happyhappyhappy.

What Scout is NOT, however, is SMART.

This is something of a limitation in our household. It's pretty annoying to walk out the front door and hear him start barking at you while you're locking it because you've been out of the house ten seconds and he's already forgotten that it's you. Plus, he's ALWAYS under foot and then he gets so incredibly insulted if you accidentally step on him. He's unbelievably vocal in his enthusiasm for anyone coming down the stairs--which upsets those people who might be, um, SLEEPING --but if you come down in the pitch dark to get water, that is very. Very. Scary.

We humans tend not to tease Scout overly much because of the Nervous Bladder issue. But the other animals in our house?

Dudes, it is Open Season.

Take, for example, Scout's bed.
It's an oversized comforter that I once paid a gazillion dollars for only to find that it's so big and heavy, I can't wash it in even the most oversized washer. After we'd grabbed it and used it a few times to cover one of the cars during hail storms, I bowed to the inevitable. When we moved, I threw it in a corner and it became Scout's bed.

Oh, my, how he loves his bed. It's his "safe place" when things (like falling leaves) get really scary. When he's in trouble or really tired from a long run with my husband, the dog races to his bed and plops down on it. Once, my husband (beloved by Scout above all other mortals) laid down with Scout on the bed. You've never seen a dog get more anxious and stressed out.

It was, frankly, pretty hilarious.

Apparently, we weren't the only ones who noticed.

Edward, who is the most mischievous cat who has ever owned me, has begun this elaborate Scout Tease. We keep telling him that it's SO not cool to pick on the slow kid but he just cannot resist. Every time Coop walks by and sees him curled up on Scout's bed, he laughs. And then he says, "That's just so wrong."

Recently, Edward has begun to make his move when Scout is still ON his bed.

Scout is so completely kerflummoxed that the other pets just had to get into the act.

Here is Scout, curled up at Coop's feet, basking in just being near the Keeper of the Tennis Balls.

"Hey, wait a minute! Who's that invading my space here?"

"Oh, it's Thomas (thebigfatcat). Thomas, the Shameless Snuggler. Thomas the big SUCK-UP."

"Okay, okay, maybe I can at least find a nice towel to lay on."
"Et tu, Sydney?"


hollygee said…
Maybe some doggie Valium? Perhaps if he de-stresses a bit, he will be smarter!
Unknown said…
poor scout. I had a very smart cat named Juice who used to ease my not-so-smart cat by moving like she was going to take off running down the hall. but she'd stay put. The dumb-ass would take off running and about half-way down the hall he'd stop and turn around looking all confused. I would swear I would hear Juice laughing...
Unknown said…
also, it's nice to see I am not the only person who thinks it is perfectly reasonable to keep two cats and two dogs in a house.
Ann in NJ said…
Sydney gets a pass, because, well, she's Sydney. Edward and Thomas get a pass, because, well, they're cats, and that is SUCH a cat thing. Poor Scout. Life is tough when you're a wimp.
LaDonna said…
I can sympathize. The most recent thing I discovered that Sasha (my pom/bishon mix) is afraid of is...get this...garbage! Garbage already in the can, but ever so slightly peeking over the edge of the needs-to-be-emptied garbage can.

Her favorite place to sleep in the evening is on my feet on her end of the couch, but we recently moved the furniture in the living room and reversed the direction of the couch so "her end" is now the other end. It's been 3 weeks and she's still incredibly confused by this.

Maybe Sasha and Scout were related in a former life.
Bethany said…
Laughing hysterically as an owner of a neurotic dog. One ungodly morning this past June, whilst the family and house guests peacefully slept, I was awoken by the ferocious barking of our dog (who is definitely not a barker in general). I flew down the stairs, not thinking of the possible intruder that he could be barking at, but thinking he needed to go out, opened the crate and ran him outside. He did his business, came back inside, walked into the kitchen and started barking again. I rounded the corner to find him barking ferociously at the big bad bouquet of flowers the girls had gotten for their dance recital the night before. I introduced Hobbes to the flowers and all was well.

Today's barking episode was due it being a windy day, so the swings were moving without people on them.
Anonymous said…
Poor Scout, it is a scary world out there.
My old Rottie mix used to freak-out every year when people would start to put xmas decorations out in their yards. I thought she was going to pass out the first time she saw one of those air-filled things get blown up and the fake snow start to fly around.
I also had a horse who was terrified of logs or even sticks on the ground, he would shoot straight up in the air.
DK said…
Awww, I just love that face.

Poor dumb cowdog! He's just so well-meaning, though. And I love that the others are ganging up on him now. He he.

I also love that picture of Syd. Maggie tends to sleep more curled up or contorted into weird positions, but my old boy Wolfie use to just sort of fall over onto his side, stretch his legs out, and konk out. It was so funny to watch him sit there, sort of sphinx-like, nodding off, until he finally decided it was time to sleep, at which point he would just sort of lean to the side until - clunk! - he fell over. It was hilarious.
Anonymous said…
And yet, there is something so right about this post. I was laughing the entire time I read this, thinking of my Joey who is just as easily frightened. Poor babies.