This has been the weirdest day

I know it's April Fool's Day and I would just like to go on record as being totally against the entire concept.

(Well, okay, every year I toy with writing something wherein I espouse my belief that spanking with a wooden spoon is really what God wants us to do and how I like to do it right before I drink a bottle of Boone's Farm and load the babies up in the car (who needs car seats?) and go for a joy ride. But honestly? There's a part of me that is afraid people will think I'm serious. I once wrote a whole column on why I don't spank my kids (it's too pedantic to link to here and no longer accurate anyway --I once did smack Jane's diaper-clad tush, after which she burst out laughing and I cried for three days.)(Dudes, a digression in the middle of a digression --am I good or what?) and to write this column on spanking, I did a bunch of Internet research and there are actually people out there who have whole websites on why they beat the living hell out of their kids and why it's okay. Scariest thing I ever read.)

ANYWAY, I hate April Fool's day. Because there is a part of me that is always afraid I will be the butt of some joke and end up...well, CRYING or some other totally inappropriate reaction.

And the tension level in the Cooper household was a little high today anyway, given that it was my daughters' first day in their new schools and dudes, you think it's hard sending them off to Kindergarten? Just wait until you gotta send them off to meet their doom in some new school in a new state with kids who just might, possibly, BE MEAN TO THEM.

That didn't happen.

Both girls had great days, loved their classes and returned home happily.

Of course, neither one of them ever wants to go BACK to school but I count that as almost normal behavior, right?

My husband, who was a ROCK this morning, went off to work and then had some work thang after hours and so he didn't come home. He called and talked to each girl after school, though, to see how it went. Once I picked up Jane from HER school and Ana managed to jump out of a box and scare every bit of Jane Joy right out of her, we were all set to go to Target or Walmart and buy their school supplies.

But then Jane spilled a boiling hot bowl of Ramen noodles over her entire arm.

Luckily, I had added a few ice cubes to it to cool it down a bit but she was fairly badly burned.

And she screamed and screamed and screamed.

I will hear that scream in my nightmares for the rest of my life. I swear to you, it was THAT horrible.

We brought this aloevera plant with us from Austin and it's sitting in my bathroom upstairs. My husband reminded me of this and I went and cut a sizable piece and applied it to Jane's arm and within minutes, the worst of the burn seemed to have cooled down. She had a few bad spots still and it's very sensitive to the touch but no blisters.

I don't know why, but the whole thing seems so surreal to me. I can't quite explain it but it's so odd to think that I'm using a plant that's been used practically since the beginning of time to heal my daughter's burn.

And it's very frightening to think how bad that burn could have been and how very new I am here--I don't even know where the emergency clinic is. I hate feeling so... clueless and out of my element. And the whole day has sort of been like that, you know? I can't pronounce anyone's name and I can't even tell you how to get to Jane's school without using the GPS and today I had to call and neighbor and ASK her when school got out so I could pick Jane up on time. I have no idea if we got good teachers or what.

I don't know. I was just sort of having a crisis of confidence.

And THEN, I got a message on my cell phone from some Army recruiter who wanted to talk to some kid named Oscar. I called him back to let him know that Oscar had didn't live here and the guy actually said to me, "Well, thanks for calling back. This is an Army recruiting station and since I've got you on the phone, would anyone there be interested in supporting our country?"

I told him my kids were seven and ten and he laughed and hung up.

How weird is THAT? And how weird is it that I didn't have six smart-mouthed things to say when he said that? Y'all know how I feel about the war, right?

Just now, I walked outside and saw a rabbit in my yard.

Of course I did.

But still no Edward.

I don't know. Just a very weird day. Even *I* can't seem to tie it all together.


Anonymous said…
Er, Barb? I'm hoping that rabbit wasn't wearing a top hat? 'Cause that would be...well, you get my drift.
Glad Jane is ok, and that both girls had good days at school. Deep breaths, deep breaths. (And dang it, Edward, stop chasing rabbits and come home!)
Mon said…
I'm glad Jane is OK...but kids screams do terrible damage to a mothers soul, just so you know.

I know when we moved to MT, and I had just brought my 8 week old daughter home from the NICU, it was hot as heck outside, and my husband had taken my son and gone to (where else but Walmart), anyway now I'm the one digressing. I was standing out on the deck, holding my little 4 lb baby who was on oxygen, and I looked up and the fire helecopters were flying overhead. I completely freaked out, because I was sure the woods behind us were on fire and my kid was going to burn to death because of the oxygen.

What I'm trying to say in the book of this comment, is it takes awhile to get your bearings. I know I went from being thrilled, to pulling myself out of the trash can at time when I moved, because everything was just so different. I longed for just one familiar thing, even though, I knew deep down in my soul that the move was the right thing, it's really hard to let go of all you know.

I hope this made sense to you, and I've still got my fingers crossed for you regarding Edward.


I am so with you on the April Fools thing. Hate it. Really. And aloe vera is truly amazing! I've used it myself.

Getting your bearings in a new place is exhausting and nerve-wracking, even if you are excited about the adventure. Adults simply aren't used to getting lost all the time and not knowing what people are called and all. Plus, the culture is different and you have no frame of reference in which to place people. It's easier on the girls, because they are being placed in a sort-of ready-made social environment to give them some structure. It helps to have some "givens" in our lives so things run smoothly - and right now, for you, nothing is a given; instead, it is all from scratch.

I keep hoping to hear thsat you found Edward...and get in to the city to see the Yarn Harlot tonight - you won't regret it!
hokgardner said…
I'm glad the first day went well, at least as far as the school part of it. I'm sorry about Jane's arm. I hope she heals quickly.
Ei said… was enough of a day without April fools, huh? Being a skeptic, I love having people trying to get things over on me and calling them on it. It tickles me. I did get got yesterday by the stupid "Guess what I'm pregnant!" gag...d'oh.

I'm glad Jane is ok. Sounds like she's a bit fragile right now, what with the popping out of a box upsetting her so. That scream may have been partly a good reason to let everything all out. You got the full blast of it didn't you poor mommy? HUGS.

You don't have to tie it all together, just throw it in a pile, we can sort through it, my dear.
Rene Perez said…
Thank goodness you had put the ice cubes in that soup. My sister spilled a bowl on her thigh and it was bad. I hope you have a better day today..I have those days quite a bit.
TheOneTrueSue said…
Oh poor Jane. I'm glad she's o.k. I'm glad the girls had good days at school. (Partly selfishly glad, because I'm nervous about our own move.)

I was neutral on April Fools Day until this year, when my kids did there best to drive me out of my mind with repetitive AFD gags. MAKE IT STOP.

I wish your kitty would hurry up and come home to you. Maybe that would make it start to feel more like home.
Hope your daughter is okay. Sorry Edward isn't back.

But, despite the fact the military is currently supporting an unjust war thanks to Dumbya, the military is a career option in many families and has provided those people with opportunities for education they never would have had without serving (me and my sister as prime examples).

And, that guy, he has a job to do and sounds like he's not doing too well at it, because, well, the war is a waste, so anyone's game - I'm surprised he didn't propose altering the kids' birth certificates to make them old enough.
MadMad said…
Whew. That is all crazy. Definitely. Hang in there!