How to Scare Ten Years Off of the Life of the Average Barb

Okay, Okay, I realize there probably isn't such a thing as an average Barb but dudes... you will NOT believe what just happened.

Okay, so this morning, I got a call from this nice Realtor asking if she could come "preview" my house for a client of hers. She wanted to come later in the morning, which sounded great to me so I turned on all the lights and heat and vacuumed and made all the beds, etc. I locked the dogs down into the yard and packed up my knitting (along with my camera and my diamond--my most valuable possessions, in other words) and went and ran some errands. When I was starving, I came back to the house and groused around a bit because the Realtor hadn't left a card.

Can you tell where this is going?

Anyway, I did my Thursday volunteer stuff and I did a really big grocery shop and I had gotten everything unloaded and unpacked when I heard...well...the call of nature so I went into the restroom. Naturally, I also heard the doorbell at almost that same time. But since I took down the "No Soliciting" sign from outside of my front door, we seem to have had a plague of door-to-door salesman coming by and I just decided to, um, well, not get up.

(I'm really trying hard not to give you all some sort of unwanted visual, not to mention not wanting to say something vulgar. It is surprisingly difficult since, you know, I really was in the potty and it's hard not to resort to potty-talk when you're talking about the potty.)

So, anyway, I finished in the potty and came out and ran smack into this little woman in my hallway.

And screamed a little scream as I felt about ten years of life ebbing from my life.

It was the Realtor from the morning, who hadn't ever made it by and who had used the lock box to come in. I didn't hear her because I was... indisposed.

Now, there are many reasons why she was totally in the wrong. She could have called to tell me she wasn't coming in the morning--which might have been nice since my dogs were locked out in the cold. She could have called to tell me she was coming NOW, which would have been nice because I could have gotten the house all ready instead of rushing around, three feet in front of her, turning on lights and chattering inanely. It was clear she was embarrassed and just wanted to leave.

So she left and I am sitting here, minus a few years of my life, and still feeling badly because she didn't get to see the house in its best light. Which is crazy.

Please no jokes about scaring the... whatever out of someone. Once you've witnessed this first hand, it's just not funny anymore. (Have I told y'all that story? I tried to find it in the blog but couldn't.)

Okay, on to other things.

I am fascinated by Edward's feet.

Look how he curls them.

He does this all the time, even when he's sound asleep.

*I* would get a cramp.

Are you totally fascinated? Edward is.


Ha, ha, ha - you screamed and then...did she scream too? I'm always doing that sort of thing - I guess I startle easily. A number of years ago, I cleaned the local yoga center in exchange for lessons; and the whole time I would be vacuuming (when it was empty), I would keep thinking, "Don't be startled if the bookkeeper walks in," because often she did come by while I was working; and every single time, I would turn around and see her and scream really loudly. She must have thought I was a nut.
Amanda said…
I was in the bathroom at home, just brushing my hair or whatever. I knew Jeff was at home, but still, when he walked up to the bathroom door, I startled, shrieked and jumped. Not only jumped, but actually did that little running in air thing that you just don't normally see outside of cartoon characters.

Something about bathrooms, I reckon!
Mrs.Q said…
I hope this isn't TMI, but here goes: We used to live in this really weird apartmet - a "church-mouse-poor-starting-out" basement suite, whose "front door" was in the carport - and it opened right into our bathroom. A good incentive for keeping the bathroom clean and the lid down...Not so good with the pizza delivery!
Damsel said…
I'm going to buy Edward one of those ear-hair-trimmer thingies.

My word verification starts with "ack". Fitting for this post, no?
Ei said…
I'm SO like this. My office has a huge window. Nice for sunshine...but it also happens to be right next to the employee entrance. Whenever someone forgets their card key they come and rap on my window and always scare the beejeezus outta me (always hard at work of course).

I can't imagine walking around the corner to find a stranger in your living room. She might have got hit at my house.
MadMad said…
Yep. That's exactly the way it happens. They ALWAYS come when you are not ready. I think I already said this. But it's true. You bust your back for the person they swear is going to buy your house... and then they don't come... oh, don't get me started. Just hope it's all over with quickly!
Robin said…
I love kitty feet and toes! He's very handsome!