In a Handbasket

This is bad.

This is very, very bad.

I'm going to pay big-time for this. I do realize this.

This morning when I got up, my kids were downstairs using a half a bottle of Dawn liquid dish detergent to wash Jane's tea set. There was soap and water everywhere and something incredibly sticky on the floor.

(I slept in until 7:30 and that was apparently my punishment.)

The girls were WIDE FREAKING AWAKE. And they wanted me to be the evil queen who had captured them and turned them into servant girls.

I made them eat breakfast while I made some coffee.

And then I, well, got an idea.

Imperiously, I ordered the Smaller One to do the Windexing. The Larger One was put out--apparently, SHE wanted to do the Windexing.

But I had (evil) plans for her.

"On your hands and knees, Wench," I commanded, handing her a spray bottle of hardwood floor cleaner and a rag.

"Oh, thank you, my Queen!" she said.

I sipped some coffee, watching the flurry of cleaning for a good ten minutes before all interest in this little endeavor evaporated into thin air.

I, the Queen, finished the hardwood mopping and then I paid my little servant girls an extra dollar on their allowance, plus some gummi bears (breakfast of champions.)

Later, the girls asked me if we could play this "Being Maids" game again some time. I told them we could if they were very, very good.

I'm going straight to hell, aren't I?


If only I were as clever as you...or my kids as gullible as yours...I'm not sure which it is.
hokgardner said…
If you are, then I am, too. It's nice to know I'll have good company.
Karen said…
Darn, I have boys. They would never do this game.
Marion Gropen said…
Shades of Tom Sawyer and the whitewash!

I only wish I were smart enough to pull that off!
ckh said…
You're full of great ideas. My daughter's wanted to play that *I* was the maid once and I didn't go for that. I'm going to try turning the tables on them and maybe we'll have some coffee in hell together.
Ei said…
This always ends up being punishment enough for me. My boys clean like men. Nuff said.

What is it with the gummy bears? Really.
TheOneTrueSue said…
I swear we were parted at birth. My girls just started "playing" this last week, except I'm the wicked stepmother. I have to say, it is my most favorite game, EVER.
Stefanie said…
Most likely, yes, but I would milk it for all its worth. ;)
Anonymous said…
Do you lend them out? I've got a floor that could use a good scrubbing ;)
DK said…
Oh, yeah. Straight to Hell. Whatever, yo.

As long as there's a Starbucks in Hell (and you know there is) and either a yarn shop or perhaps some evil sheep, we'll be fine.
Anonymous said…
No, you're not going to hell. You'll just never get to eat pasta again!
Memarie Lane said…
I have got to try this.
LaDonna said…
Oh, I wish my girls would fall for this game!!
MadMad said…
I think it's a great plan, actually - especially if you can teach them to clean well.
shawn said…
I am just wondering if it would still work on an 11 year old.. hum.. At least you will have a lot of company there!!
Miri said…
I am SO LATE to the handbasket party! DANG IT. (this would've been a good place to use damn, since it's about the going there anyway thing)