The Tooth Fairy According to Jane
First she loses the tooth. This involves days of anguish over the tooth hanging by a THREAD and then going peacefully to sleep and having it fall out during the night. Because this is Jane, the tooth is found in the bed. (She leads a charmed life.)
Much shrieking ensues.
Very. Early. In. The. Morning.
Jane details the exact size of her tooth:
Her note says: "People! This is what my tooth looks like in front of the smallest coin. (Dime.)" and then she has drawn the tooth AND the dime just to make sure we dolts understand the size comparison.
She sends a flurry of e-mails in various fonts and colors to denote her excitement.
In case you missed the fact that she's excited.
Carefully, she plots her strategy with regard to the Tooth Fairy.
It says (well, you know, more or less), "Dear Tooth Fairy, What Luck! Do you know how I lost my tooth? (Oh, and for my last tooth, where did you get my 2-dollar bill 'cause those are really rare.) (Oh, and my cousin told me she heard you one night. She heard footsteps.) Do you fly or do you walk or both? Please answer my questions.
PS: I know you're not in the habit to write notes, but this one is important! My last front tooth I am gonna lose! Oh, by the way, do you come when our teeth fall out when we are dead? Sincerely yours truly, Jane Cooper
PPS: Can I keep my tooth?
(The kid's digressions make her mother's heart proud. It's an art form, you know.)
She packaged up the tooth and the note, along with a pen and a little pad of paper into a ziplock bag and placed it under her pillow.
Now, I would like it to be known that I asked the Tooth Fairy--beseeched, really--NOT to write a note back because the last time the T. F. wrote back, I fielded a semi-irate phone call from the mother of one of Jane's classmates who was wondering where SHE was going to get one of those T.F. notes for her OWN child. However, the Tooth Fairy seems rather firmly under Jane's spell. So, she got THIS back:
It says, in very tiny Fairy writing, "Jane, you are very sweet! I love you. I only bring treats for sweet children. No one else! Love, T.F. PS: Keep the tooth, I've got plenty!"
The Hurricane was not so happy, though. "She didn't answer my questions. And I think she took my pen."
Lucky for all, in addition to the note, the Tooth Fairy left $2.46 and the tooth behind. (Don't ask about the lipstick.)