No Police Here.

Yesterday, when I was recovering my Halloween Spirit (Get it? Get it? Halloween SPIRIT? HAH!) I met a woman who had contacted me who wanted to do sort of an informational kind of meeting about writing, etc. I said yes because, although you can fit what I know about writing into one word (Write.), I really wanted to go to Starbuck's. Her name is Carol and she has a four-month-old, Sophia. Sophia is about the smiliest baby I've ever seen and Carol let me hold her and smell her head.

(As an aside, (and you knew there had to be at least one, right?) while I was holding her, I just sort of naturally did that Mom bounce thing. The natural rhythm thing that we moms develop to soothe fussy babies. Even though this baby wasn't at all fussy. But it's interesting that although my youngest is seven, I just broke right into it, reflexively.)

We talked writing and motherhood and careers and life. Carol is trying to decide what she wants to do about her career as a software project manager now that she's a mom, and she definitely has the soul of a writer and she is trying to decide how to pursue that... I could relate. It was the perfect time to meet her and to get reminded of why I've made the choices I have made, you know? Because as I was explaining my own particular, quirky path, I remembered.

As we were saying goodbye, I wished her well and I tried to put my thoughts into some kind of coherent order. "The wonderful thing about motherhood for me is that it completely changed my perspective on EVERYTHING. It is the single greatest positive life transformation I've ever experienced. And one of the things it did for me was to make it possible for me to see all of the opportunities out there to craft whatever kind of life I wanted. I was always such a linear career woman and I suddenly realized that there are no Career Police out there. We get to find what works best for us and our families. I don't know --I guess I hadn't ever seen that option before."

"Oh, and Carol? There aren't any Mother Police, either."

I probably didn't say it exactly that way, being either overly caffeinated or under, depending on your perspective. But that's what I meant to say.

However, just in case there are HALLOWEEN police, I present photographic evidence that a fine time was had by my kids, along with a friend or two:


Anonymous said…
I think women need to know that there is a choice! It used to be the norm for(most) women to stay home and raise kids then the pendulum swung the other way and most all the women went to work whether they wanted to or not. Maybe the middle is approaching where a choice is available to those that want it - I hope so, the kids deserve it!
Seems like things went downhill fast when all the parents were at work and relying on daycare and school to do all the raising and teaching of values. I hate to think of squeezing all the things my mom did for me in a couple of hours a night - after dinner and before bedtime. I know some folks just can't financially make it otherwise, some think that they can't and some just want to work full-time, but for the people that want to stay-at-home I hope that they can/do and that others stop looking at it like some sort of failure!

btw - the kids looked like they had FUN!
I've got oven-envy...I love your double wall oven!

I know, I know, that wasn't the point of the post (or the pictures). And I loved your post (as always) - lucky, lucky Carol for getting a chance to speak to you while this whole motherhood thing is so new to her.
Ei said…
I think it is interesting that this seems universally to be something that parenthood teaches women...that possibilites aren't made by money or education, they are made by people who have a REASON to make them happen. For a lot of us, those little reasons require, interestingly enough, a lot of money and some education too, but not the kind I used to think I needed.

I loved this blog. I particularly like the tough ninja pose on Ana. She is a woman after my own heart.