Is been a vewy busy day here today. Firs, breakfass at the IHOP, whish I no like so much but my girlz love. Then teashing the Girls Scouts to knit, wish made one liddle girl cwy because thas the kind of teacher I are.

I forgot to eat lunch. This happen me sometimes.

But is Happy! Hour! I so HAPPY! I had a rum and coke on an empty stommick and now I so FUNNY. SO FUNNY. Laugh, darnit. Laugh until you nap!

Tomorrow ish a vewy biggish day here...

Okay, sorry. I have to stop writing drunk now because I'm starting to feel like Junie B. Jones. I AM a tad tipsy and very vewy tired. Those Girls Scouts--man, what a tough crowd.

I honestly did make a little girl cry today in knitting class. Like, repeatedly. I hope it's just that she was getting sick. I mean... I don't hope she's getting sick but I also would prefer her complete frustration and sobbing meltdown to be blamed on something besides my ineptitude as a teacher.

Having said that, I also must admit that I suck as a teacher. At least, of knitting. Some things, um, like how to lose one's temper at the drop of a hat or how to bury one's desk in paper, I can teach with very little effort. You might call me a natural. But when I'm teaching something that requires, teaching-- those things I pretty much teach by saying things like, "So, you, um, do THIS and then you do... THIS. You use THIS pointy thing to do this sort of curly thingy and then you pull the whatsit back into the deal."

I don't know, I wore my new "knitterly" earrings and everything. But it DOES occur to me that maybe I should have just had a big drink before I started class. I would probably have been more coherent.


Teaching knitting is close to impossible! Essentially, I end up saying, "Just watch." But that's harder to do with a whole group of girls. We once got together a bunch of 8-10 year old girls for a knitting club. Our plan was to have them knit squares, and then we would knit them (the squares, not the girls)into a baby blanket and give it to a pregnancy crisis center. I moved to another state in the middle of this endeavor. And it wasn't just because of the insurmountability of the task we had set before us. I mean, we had to move anyway. But it was fortuitous timing.
hokgardner said…
Just think about that cute little poem one of Jane's classmates wrote last week. You do know how to teach, even if it's not knitting.
No one was able to teach me to knit--it was tedious to me--like cooking. Now, ask me to lay a wood floor, and I'm your girl.
DK said…
Alas, the teaching of knitting is not for the faint of heart. Or the short of patience. Or the anxious and stressed out.

Although, for the record, my biggest class was a group of Red Hat Society ladies, and I remember that alcohol really helped. Although I'm not sure getting the Girl Scouts drunk would gain you any points, either...
Damsel said…
LOL @ "You use THIS pointy thing to do this sort of curly thingy and then you pull the whatsit back into the deal."

Ei said…
I'm curious to hear how the big day is going. And if you contributed to that child's therapy fund.

And you put the whozit in the whatzits how? I'm so never going to be a knitter. But damn it I will play this here guitar. I'll probably quit before I'm a star...on Broadway.

No, I haven't been drinking. But I was plied with chocolate early in the day.