The Definition of Insanity

I'm sure we've all heard the quote, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results." (This quote is attributed to both Ben Franklin AND Albert Einstein. It was probably really spoken by some poor harried mother after she found the stack of clean clothes she'd asked her child to put away stuffed in the bottom of said child's closet and realized that she'd asked the same thing, with the same exact freaking results, just one too many times. And she went to fetch her flamethrower.) (Er, um, hypothetically speaking. Really. Because I don't OWN a flamethrower.)

(But if I could return to my ORIGINAL digression, I'd just like to point out that just about every wise thing that's ever been quoted by anyone, with the possible exception of that Steinem quote that "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle," can be attributed to either Ben Franklin or Albert Einstein.)

(Although when I was just making sure that Gloria Steinem really said that fish/bicycle quote, I found a letter that she wrote to Time magazine, "In your note on my new and happy marital partnership with David Bale, you credit me with the witticism 'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.' In fact, Irina Dunn, a distinguished Australian educator, journalist and politician, coined the phrase back in 1970 when she was a student at the University of Sydney. She paraphrased the philosopher who said, "Man needs God like fish needs a bicycle." Dunn deserves credit for creating such a popular and durable spoof of the old idea that women need men more than vice versa." --Gloria Steinem

(And then I also found a website where people were debating what U2 meant when THEY coined that phrase, which made me want to writhe around on the floor and perhaps stab myself in the forearm with a fork.)

(I hope you all are keeping track of the sheer brilliance of my digressions in this post. Because, honestly? I don't think I can hit these heights again without spraining something.)

At. Any. Rate.

SOMEONE once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Which is why I am embarking on a new weight loss plan and doing everything exactly the opposite of how I've done things in the past. I'm NOT joining Weight Watchers! I'm NOT waiting until after the holidays! I AM going to write down every single thing I eat AND start taking a yoga class, if my physical therapist clears me for it. And also? I'm going to blog about it on THIS site: Fight the Fluffy and I invite you all to come read and throw things at me if I wuss out.

Contest News:

I am still mulling over the entries for my new tag line. So far, I think my favorite lines are:

Mother. Writer. Lunatic.

Mother. Writer. Keeper of Little Things.

Mother. Writer. Keeper of the Chocolate.


Mother. Writer. Herder of Cats.

I'll get back to you with the winner later this week. Feel free to weigh in with your opinions, though, because, honestly, this week, those hilarious comments kept me going.


Ei said…
I love herder of cats, but, but...that sort of leaves Scout out. Only sort of because um. Oh shit, I was going to go into a digression on your post of epic digressions. Anyway. I like that one.

Fish. Bicycle. There's a good blog by that name, or used to be. Actually I think it is "This fish needs a bicycle." Which is funny because I've been entertaining the thought of going bicycle shopping myself.

Oh dear God is it the 4 day weekend yet?
DK said…
You know how I feel about the herding of cats. And I also like "Keeper of the little things." But, speaking as a professional in crazy, you're not quite the lunatic you sometimes think you are.

Yoga is a good idea. And for the love of Steve, stop obsessing about your weight! You're beautiful! Do some yoga, build some strength, do some centering, and make peace with your body exactly the way it is first before you try to change it, or you're never, ever going to be happy, no matter what. You know I'm right.

But, I forget, am I the pot or the kettle?
Anonymous said…
I've got it...I haven't yet finished reading this post but...

Mother, Writer, Queen of Digression

Huh, huh???

MadMad said…
Nah, nah, and more nah. Fingerpaints still summed it all up best. It has to be something mommy-related. Again, like socks. (Not to keep pushing MY entry, ahem, ahem, but still.) Good luck with the yoga!
Annabanana said…
keeper of the SMALL things...isn't that it? :-) (somehow, small is better than little)
Mother. Writer. Raving Lunatic.

It sounds better.

I have another idea, but I have to go. Write later.
Lynn said…
Saw your comment on The Harlot's blog. I don't usually read through the comments, as there are typically 1573 of them by the time that I get home from work. But today I am home with a cold, and there were only 136 of them, and there you were! And I thought "I know that voice", and I was right.

I love it when I'm right; it happens so rarely [I've raised 4.85 teenagers].

Mother, writer, keeper of the stitch markers?
Anonymous said…
I can loan you my flame thrower ;)
Neil said…
Uh-oh... that definition of insanity hits home.
ckh said…
The definition of insanity is my favorite way to describe why I'm actually insane. I mean, I must be, right?

How did I miss the contest? But...Mother, Writer, Knitter of Socks?
Mother, Writer, Keeper of the Keys?
or Mother, Writer, Spiller of Wit?
or just keep the finger paint one and MAKE your kids finger paint more so it's still true.
Anonymous said… one likes chocolate?!?!