Again With The DMV

My working title for this post as I was driving home just now from the New York Department of Motor Vehicles rhymed with "Muster Duck." New York is adding a certain amount of color to my vocabulary, and not necessarily in a good way.

All I wanted was a New York driver's license and New York license plates for my mini-van. To be in compliance.

Because Lord knows I live to be in compliance with the rules. (Stop that laughing right this instant.)

Having packed up all my necessary paperwork in a nice folder --because I am all organized like that --and showered for the second morning in a row so that I wouldn't look like a terrorist in my driver's license photo, I headed forth.

It was maybe not the best omen when I ran that red light, which, Officer, I am telling you, I never even SAW. Luckily, people here are USED to people running red lights because no one even batted an eyelash and I did NOT end up in an accident, just truly mortified.

But anyway, I got to the DMV and collected all of my stuff and went inside. The nice man gave me some forms and then asked if the van's title was in my name. Well, it's not because I had an 18-month-old Hurricane when we bought the thing and I did good to even DRIVE it before my husband hung around to do all the paperwork and bring it home.

So, HE has to be the one to register it here in New York. And if it's in both of our names, we BOTH have to go. Which I don't really understand because only *I* was required to register my children for school here and a van is just.. well, a van. Who cares who's name is on the title? All I want is to comply and have my nice car registered in New York and give the nice man money to do that.

But Rules is Rules. So there were, see.

(Plus, I guess I really have to find the title to the van now. That should be easy because I am so organized and all.


Anyway, okay so we can't register the car. Let's get me a legal driver's license shall we?

Only, guess what?

My Texas license expired and had to be renewed on my birthday in February of this year. And when the new one came, I, being SO ADVERSE TO CLUTTER, threw the old one away and put the new one in my wallet. I'm so FREAKING organized like that.

But in order to get my driver's license here, my Texas driver's license had to be at least six months old.

I don't know why. Same DL number before and after the renewal.

However, if I really want my driver's license here, I have to call the Texas DMV --you know, the one with the exact same efficiency of my current filing system? --and request a transcript (certified) of my driving record and then bring that with me to apply for my new license.

I left and, you just cannot make this stuff up, the GPS sent me the wrong way up a one way street on my way home.

I hope nobody wrote down my license plate number.

Say it with me now: MUSTER DUCK.


Ei said…
Fuster Cluck works too.

Dude, you totally should have moved to Iowa. Just sayin'.
LaDonna said…
Yeah, that's why I hate the DMV.

Muster Duck, Fuster Cluck...(snort!)
Memarie Lane said…
Oooh I like Fuster Cluck, I might have to steal that. Another one I like is bitchallenching. :p
Wait a second...can't you just wait a few more months and go back and get your NY license? By then your Texas one will be 6 months old.
DK said…
Ah, but then you'd be out of compliance because you technically need to get licensed in the state you live in within 60 days of moving.

A, about registering the van vs registering the kids for school...oh, honey. Any moron can pop out a kid. You need a license to drive a car (Speaking of fluster clucks).

B, face're going to look like a terrorist. It's a DMV photo.
Mon said…
Honestly, that sounds about right. D.L.'s are so complicated in urban areas. When I moved here, I got my new one in about 5 minutes, with a computer print out until my official one came in the mail. Then I had to drive to our county seat to get the plates for my truck. Two separate offices...weirdness.

I hope your next foray into the DMV turns out to be more fruitful.
Unknown said…
Again, I say it: I hate moving.

My fave DMV story was when I moved from Canada to Virginia and had to take a driver's test at age 30!!! She made me drive around the block, I complimented her hair, I passed, lol.