The Rooster Must Die

There was at least an acre of wallpaper in my kitchen. And acre of wallpaper to be removed.

You think I'm joking, I know you do. But it was so bad that at one point, I came down the stairs and found my girls hard at work doing wallpaper removal. Is that the sweetest thing?? I didn't even ASK them. Maybe they simply saw how very close to the edge I was.

It's funny, though --they loved the job (as heinous as it is) until I agreed to pay them by the hour and then they sort of lost interest. That's an interesting observation about human nature but I'll be darned if I know what it means.

Here's what the same hallway looked like the next day.

I'm so sick of that freaking rooster--heck, I may never even eat CHICKEN again. Dudes.

Trust me when I tell you...the Rooster must pay.

I started kind of making the rooster a bit more decorative at about hour sixty of wall paper removal.

(See, I told you he looked like he was wearing a top hat!)

Then I dressed him all up for work.
(Get it? DRESSING?) (Oh never mind.)

Then I started fantasizing about dismembering the chicken. I was trying to draw the parts here...

Finally I had to draw the rooster as I really see him.

I know y'all think I've lost my mind but you wouldn't want me bottling up all this frustration and taking it out on Scout, now would you?


Anonymous said…
I agree that you have some hideously ugly roosters goin' on, there.

I once had to remove wallpaper from a bathroom when I was a teenager. I actually enjoyed the process. Granted, it only took about two hours. And, it was U-G-L-Y. And, it was in MY bathroom. So I guess I was pretty motivated.
Ei said…
Barb, I SO needed to see the "dressed" roosters tonight. I love you, thank you so much!
Rene Perez said…
Oh my gosh! Hee hee hee hee hee!!!! I love this! I would have done the same thing!
TheOneTrueSue said…
Those before and afters = AMAZING. I'm in awe.

Also, I need something to deface, stat.
Mon said…
I love the decorated roosters. I'd have done the same thing, the great thing about horrible wallpaper is that it is usually covering the best houses a fine bottle of wine. Just think, Long Island's own version of Rooster hunting!
MadMad said…
I was trying to think of a good chicken joke... oh I know! Did you hear the one about the chicken who crossed the road yet? Hahaha - I kill me...

Sorry on the Edward update - hope the sump pump lead pans out, though!
hokgardner said…
I love the dressed up roosters!
Stefanie said…
Oh, I totally understand! I thrive on destroying things before we change them!

When I was younger, we decided to replace our kitchen counter from the weird fake something to granite. And Mom handed Duncan and I permanent markers and we drew all over that counter. Best day ever, let me tell you. ;)
LaDonna said…
Oh, Barb! You have no idea how much I needed that laugh today. It's been a horrendously bad one that's going to cost me around $3000 to recover from (both my vehicles died in the past two days). And unfortunately, it's no April Fool. Thank you so much!