I Miss My Kitty

I really do. I miss my cat Edward and his silly feet. He's been gone a week now. I'm trying very hard not to lose hope, especially since so many readers have written to say they lost their cats the same way and had them come back unexpectedly. In order to take my mind off of his disappearance, I find myself constructing fanciful stories about the dumbest things in the oddest places.

To wit: There's this Wallpaper in our half-bathroom. I believe I've mentioned it before. When we first saw the house, I think I reported that there was a woman churning butter on this wall paper.

This turns out to Not Be True.

No, upon deeper study and reflection, there appear to be many scenes depicted from Life at a Winery. As wallpaper goes, this is War and Peace. Or maybe something by Steinbeck, which always features plenty of wine.

It leaves many questions but the following is this Wallpaper Scholar's interpretation of Life in the Half Bath.

First, we see our heroine, stoic and proud and dreamily fetching water from the town fountain. Water is very important for making wine. It might take a bit more than she's fetching in that pitcher but perhaps this water is just in case she gets thirsty.

(Dudes, I have no idea why her blush is blue. It keeps me awake at night.)


Later she helps the poor but proud farm boy to load the grapes onto the wagon, which is just not that easy in such a skirt.
Lunchtime comes and Our Lady sits down for a break. Oh dear, I see what is coming. Poor, poor thing. Clearly, she has stresses we cannot fathom.

Unfortunately, she cannot find her solace in the bottle if she wants to save the vineyard from the grasp of the manipulative owner of the competitor winery down the road. Although she does find him ruggedly handsome for such a fiend. Nevertheless, we hope she pulls herself together and stays strong because it's very, very clear what the grape is doing to her productivity...




(What does it say about me that the expression on her face makes me laugh out loud? Clearly, I need therapy.)

You can see why I couldn't live with that wallpaper--I mean, where's the ending? Where's the part where the poor, but proud, farm boy turns over his savings to pay the taxes on the vineyard and in the process, divulges that the competitor vineyard owner wasn't always like this. Before his wife died in that hunting accident, he was the most charming and generous benefactor ever.

And dudes, where the part where he catches her drinking and she throws up on his shoes?

Oh, wait, wrong genre.

Anyway, clearly it was time for the wallpaper to go. The painter painted over it on Friday. Now the only thing to do is to try to figure out what exactly is going on with that Rooster on the kitchen walls...

I'm sure it's Freudian but the first couple of times I looked at this wallpaper, I thought the rooster was wearing a top hat. And that seemed perfectly normal to me, you betcha.

I frighten and amuse myself.