Hi, Hello, How Are You?

Just disregard those last two posts, okay? It turns out that I'm sick --I really DO have walking pneumonia, and it's adding a bit of a hallucinatory tint to my daily life. Like, just now I was at the grocery store filling my prescription and I seriously had the urge to shoplift a big tub of mums on the way to my car. I mean, the urge came right over me, like when you're in a crowded auditorium and you are suddenly afraid you're going to scream? (You have that, too, right? It's not just me? Oh.)I got in my car and my heart was racing like I really was a thief. And I didn't even TOUCH the darn thing.

(You might have to know me better, but I'm the woman driving everyone crazy because she spots the remains of a donut her kids have eaten and insists on paying for it, even if it means holding up the entire line while she digs around in her purse for 54 cents.)

Anyway, I have some antibiotics and I'm hopeful that maybe I'll even lose some weight! Yahoo! Let's hear it for Walking Pneumonia!

I've decided to stop complaining about stuff because last night, I was reading to the Fair Jane while she was on the potty and she interrupted me to tell me her knees had just cracked.

"First my toes and now my knees!" she said. "I'm getting so old."

Yep. It's all downhill after six, sister.

In other news, my lovely, wonderful camera bit the dust. I was just about to take it back because I only got 13,000 pictures out of it! Hardly ever used it.

My husband gave it to me for Christmas of 2003. I remember this very distinctly because he CHEATED.

We had decided that we weren't going to exchange presents that year. I can't remember why but we'd had a lot of expenses on the house. That might have been the year we had to replace both air-conditioners and one of our cars, I don't know. Anyway, we just decided that spending a bunch of money sounded silly since we were already going to be spending a bunch of money on the kids. So, on Christmas morning, I was feeling all proud of myself because my husband wanted this $20 bike tool and I found it on-line for $10. WOOHOO! Look how frugal.

And then I opened my present. It was the Canon Digital Rebel --the one that totally revolutionized digital cameras everywhere. It must have cost at least $1,000.

So, he cheated. But it was kind of hard to be mad about that. And over the course of the years, it has proven to be the best present anyone has ever given me. If I had to choose between my camera and my CAR--I would go with the camera every time.

It's funny because I hadn't wanted a digital camera until that point because I was afraid I'd never use my traditional camera again. And you know what? I didn't. (Oh, well.)

Anyway, I have to replace my Canon and I'm going to replace it with another Canon because of the lenses. I'm looking at the Canon Digital Rebel XTi. The real problem is that the cheapest I can find it is about $700 and I am, as you all know, unemployed (in Greenland.)

So, I've been thinking about what to do and here is my conclusion: it's going to take a huge sacrifice to be able to get my new camera. Given that I am what the business world calls a "cost center," meaning I bring in no direct revenue but have plenty of expenses associated with me. So, the trick will be to offset another expense and divert that money to the Camera Fund.

But see, that's kind of a problem because except for my camera, I am not really into STUFF that much. (Well, okay, yarn but I'm already on a Stash Diet so that's not a line item in the budget right now.) (Plus, I have plenty of stash so I can probably knit socks until my camera is paid off.) But I don't buy clothes or shoes and we've pretty much got our furniture now. So, where can I cut expenses?

I know what you're thinking and let me just say straight out that I am not cutting out our housekeeper. I swear she's saved my marriage and my sanity. And anyway, this is really my husband's expense since he gets credit for cleaning the entire house top to bottom every week because she comes.

Well, that leaves only one other thing. Are you ready?

Wine. Wine!

I've been wanting to dry out for a bit anyway, given that I still have my, "It's summer! Vacation! Woohoo!" mentality going. And given that there's a history of addictive behavior in my family, well, it'd be good to throttle back before my nearest and dearest stage an intervention. And since I'm on antibiotics now and shouldn't drink with those anyway, I'll get kind of a head start.

Let me run the numbers here...I figure we spend about $60 a week on wine because we drink about 5 bottles at an average cost, I'm guessing, of $12 a bottle. (This may be conservative on both fronts. I'm afraid to look at the real numbers.) So basically, every day that I don't drink wine would be (let's do some rounding) $9 in the Camera Fund. So, let's see... $600 divided by $9 is... oh my gosh...78 days!

Okay, anyone got any other bright ideas?


hokgardner said…
Sorry, can't help. We've been cutting back expenses due to a ginormous tax bill (the hazards of both of us being self-employed), and so far we've gone to cleaning lady every other week and getting rid of the lawn guy. When my husband suggested that Lily not go to preschool anymore, I informed him that my resulting counseling bill and divorce attorney fees would eat up any savings gained by pulling her out of preschool. Then I suggested that he quit smoking. He fled the battlefield at that point and retreated to the back porch.
Ei said…
I'm guessing your very first picture with the new camera will be of a well earned bottle of wine. ;)

I have no suggestions. I could help you out if you needed to spend money recklessly with absolutley no tangible results...?
Hmmm...very interesting proposition. How much is that cleaning lady? You don't really need her, honest. Check out Flylady.net instead. I'd rather clean my own house and drink wine than pay someone to clean my house and have to stay sober all the time.

It is all downhill after 6, you know. I'm suffering a major midlife crisis right now.
Heidi Malott said…
How about a little less expensive wine (notice I didn't say cheaper)
Barb Matijevich said…
Dude. You just can't imagine what my life is like without the cleaning woman. I'm married to the original Messy Boy. Here, I documented it: http://www.sothethingis.com/Messy%20Boy.htm

Oh, and I had a run in with the Fly Lady, too: http://www.sothethingis.com/The%20Fly%20Lady.htm

OR if these won't link, just go to the website and look on the archived columns from 2002.

I think I might have thought of a work-around, though. HARD LIQUOR.

Just sort of kidding... sort of. Kidding. Sigh.

Barb Matijevich said…

Every time I see your picture, I click on your name to go to your website to tell you to STOP BEING SO PRETTY. But then I get all carried away by your art. If I had your telent, I wouldn't NEED a camera.

Barb Matijevich said…
Um, I meant, TALENT.

Maybe I should forget the camera and just get a new dictionary.
ckh said…
I have an idea for you. First, resolve to drink MORE wine. Resolve to drink DOUBLE what you now consume and do that for a ...wait, no...

So then resolve AGAIN to cut out drinking and since you're drinking twice as less (that sounds funny) you're SAVING so much more money and it would only take you 39 DAYS!

I'm brilliant!
Lynn said…
OK, Barb, full disclosure: I'm a teetotalin' Molly Mormon. So naturally I'm going to give you high fives and amens on the nixing of the wine. One of the great blessings of joining the church at the ripe old age of 23 was the knowledge that I would never again have to wonder, the night after a party, to whom I owed an apology, or for what.

And I hope that when I get to heaven, they will greet me with a glass of non-alcoholic Cabernet Sauvignon. It's one of the few tastes I occasionally miss from my pre-church days.

Ironic note: word verification is sypglupa. What's a glupa?
Barb Matijevich said…
You know, Lynn, this explains a lot about why all of my Mormon friends can always afford THEIR cameras...

Maybe Glupa is non-alcoholic cabernet savignon?

My word verification is "rilyr" and I sincerely hope I haven't
Annabanana said…
ummm, for me, wine is cheaper than antianxiety meds, hormone replacement, and therapy for my kid because of a stressed out mom. So I can't thumbs up the wine for camera thing. However, I COULD figure out a real good justification for the camera as a legitimate business expense, because, girlfriend, you are not really unemployed, just not getting paid for your work right now. I mean, you're a writer, and the camera is part of your research and part of your work, so just buy it...tax deduction! Life is short, enjoy the wine.
Damsel said…
*jumps into the scene, frantically waving arms over her head*


Consider this little post yet another hallucination of yours.

You can't be serious. Life without wine would be.... um.... wine...less??? I actually don't know because I DON'T THINK I'VE DONE IT.

This is not to say that I get sloshed.... but I have a glass at least every other night.

I suppose $60 a week is a bit high, so maybe you could just cut down a wee bit. I'm with ann about it being cheaper than all that medical treatment.

My word verification is mxltjhl, which sounds like something from the original Aztec language (and I should know - I majored in Spanish). Betcha "mxltjhl" means "WINE". So there's your proof.
Anonymous said…
I've made a little pact with myself...not because I'm spending too much on wine but because I CAN'T POSSIBLY get everything done that I need to do in the evenings if I have even HALF a glass of wine. So, Friday nights and Saturday nights are my "free to indulge" nights (and by that I mean 1 maybe 2 glasses). This way I'm only going through, at the most, a bottle a week....and I really look forward to it on Friday evening....like REALLY.